I'm Just Too In Love to Let Go
by Blue eyed fantasies
Summary: *CoLS spoilers* First ever fan fiction because I was angry at Cassandra Clare for what she did to Malec! So I wrote my own ending... Summary inside because I don't want to give away any spoilers.
1. Maybe it's too soon

**This is my first fan fiction. It will contain spoilers for CoLS so _obviously _don't read it if you haven't read the book. Being a loyal Malec fan, I was outraged that Cassandra Clare gave them hardly any page time and then broke them apart! (Not that I don't love Cassie Clare because she is a genius!) Anyway, I'm starting to write my own ending which would continue on from CoLS but I'm gonna ignore Jace and his heavenly fire (Not that I don't love him too) and focus on Malec as they deserve. **

**Magnus is trying to get over Alec until things take a nasty turn for the worse and he realises maybe it's just too hard to let go...**

**I don't own the Mortal Instruments because if I did it would contain Magnus and Alec living in a happy dream land on every page. It all belongs to Cassandra Clare though so... Any who I hope you don't think it's too awful...**

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_"It's over. I don't want to see you Alec. Or any of your friends. I'm tired of being their pet warlock"._

1 month ago, that's when he said it and Magnus thought that it was probably one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. It was ripping his soul, his other half away from him and part of him was screaming 'STOP! YOU LOVE HIM! DON'T DO THIS!' Especially when he saw Alec's beautiful but broken blue eyes so vulnerable and it made him want to kiss all of his troubles away. He wanted to take back every soul shattering word and surround him with his love.

The love that wasn't enough.

Alec didn't trust him. He never had and Magnus could feel the chasm between the two of them widening, irrevocably tearing them apart each day. There was nothing Magnus could do to bridge that divide, he just had to helplessly watch as Alec drifted further and further away. When he had received that letter he didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. He felt so betrayed as if Alec had actually stabbed the knife in his back himself.

'et tu Alec?'

A hopeful, optimistic part of him prayed though that it was just another one of Camille's manipulating schemes. Praying had never worked for Magnus though, he was part demon and all his hopes were demolished when he saw Alec in that dark, dingy corridor, blue eyes shining with guilt and the finality hit him suddenly. This is it. It's over.

Magnus didn't know how he had made it out of the tunnel in his broken manner. He felt he couldn't breathe with the pain in his chest, almost as if he could literally feel his heart ripping into shreds. He eventually collapsed just outside some doorway on the street in full view of all the passers by, his body wracked with gut wrenching sobs. His first time crying in probably centuries. All efforts of keeping up his reputation of _the Magnus Bane_ flew out the window. He was utterly destroyed, devastated, demoralised. Everyone gave him a wide berth, obviously thinking they might catch his despair or something and Magnus didn't even realise that he hadn't glamoured himself in his grieving state. He had to stay away from his warm comforting apartment though and his reassuring little kitten because he just couldn't bear it if he ran into Alec collecting his stuff.

He supposed most who knew him would expect him to go out, get drunk and get over Alec with another lover as he was notorious for. He'd accomplished getting drunk for the day whilst he expected Alec to remove all evidence of his existence. But since returning to the warm sanctuary of his apartment had not accomplished moving from his bedroom.

He remembered returning, his mind still clinging to the haze of unawareness that the alcohol brought but inevitably becoming painfully more and more aware of reality by the minute. He staggered through the doorway to find...

The apartment hadn't changed a bit.

Alec's presence and belongings remained scattered around the room. A faded black T-shirt strewn haphazardly over a chair, a demonology textbook still opened on the last page he was reading and the pale blue scarf hanging up on the coat rack that he had bought Alec. He recalled buying it for Alec, desperately trying to get some colour into his lifeless wardrobe and the feeling of delight when Alec had actually worn it and seeing it light up his dazzling blue eyes. With trembling fingers Magnus brought it to his nose and inhaled the sandalwood smell that he associated with Alec.

It burned like acid.

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**Sorry if it was a bit over wordy :/ It will get better I promise! I'm not gonna leave Magnus wallowing in sorrow forever but, as you can probably guess, it will be multi chaptered. Review please? :)**


	2. Eradicating Alexander Lightwood

**Hhmmm I never knew I was such an angst writer :( I usually read all the cute fluff :) I can't seem to stop though! Anyway Magnus has moved on to the 'bitter and vengeful ' stage of his break-up blues... Or so he thinks. I don't own him though or any of the marvellous MI characters, that honour lies with Cassie Clare who I'm still in a sulk with for doing that to Malec. :( Not that she can hear me giving her the silent treatment. Oh well...**

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After crying for several more hours? Minutes? Magnus had no idea, he shakily got to his feet, glancing at the dining room table.

The round neon blue table lay bare. No key.

Alec, the coward, still hadn't plucked up the courage to return the key or collect his possessions. A painful reminder to Magnus everyday of the absence of his presence. Another reason for Magnus staying hidden in the safety of his covers whilst attempting to drink himself into oblivion for the past month.

_Honestly _thought Magnus _does he not understand the implication of the words 'I don't want to see you'? _Although, Magnus thought, it was probably Alec's first break-up.

_Aww poor diddums. Did the big, bad Magnus hurt you? Well tough. _Magnus wasn't going to help him now. He'd guided him through the relationship but he wasn't Alec's tutor now. If Alec wasn't going to man up and face him... Well then maybe he would just dispose of the evidence. Yeah, Magnus had waited long enough and he was never going to get over Alec with every reminder of him like a small knife stabbing him every few seconds.

So he would eradicate all evidence of his existence.

As these revitalising thoughts came to Magnus he made a pact with himself to burn every item that Alexander Gideon Lightwood had left in his apartment thinking that it's best to fight fire with _fire._

Magnus heaved himself out of his nestle of blankets. He smelt awful but he wasn't at the stage of showering yet in his 'getting over Alec' process. At the moment he was in the alcoholic stage but he was starting to slowly progress to the bitter revenge stage. _God, it was going to take ages_ Magnus thought with a heart wrenching sigh.

He knew what he was doing was immature and childish but he couldn't bring himself to care. Everything with Alec was new because he'd never felt this way about any of his past lovers before.

_And you probably never will... _A bitter voice hissed in his mind.

'No. Stop thinking these thoughts!' He shouted to himself. 'Chairman Meow! Make sure I don't start pining over Alec again!' Magnus demanded looking around for the little ball of fluff. Now that he thought about it he hadn't seen Chairman Meow in a while. Not since he stopped feeding him... Great! Even his cat's abandoned him!

He began slowly and methodically gathering Alec's belongings into a small pile in the centre of the room. _Like a funeral pyre_ Magnus thought morbidly. It was all going well and Magnus was thoroughly underway with his 'removing every presence of Alec' stage; gathering old T-shirts and demonology textbooks into the pyre. That is until he found the photo album. Pictures of them... In Paris, India, Egypt and his favourite picture of Alec.

To most, it wouldn't seem like a particularly special picture. It was just Alec sitting against a tree with a small smile on his lips, his ebony locks tumbling into his dazzling blue eyes which held such emotion it was like they were penetrating into Magnus' soul. There was a sort of ethereal beauty in his features, his flawless pale skin in contrast to the midnight locks and the soft pink blush on his cheeks. He wasn't looking into the camera lens Magnus knew but into Magnus' own cat eyes. It was just after he'd said the words 'I love you' and Magnus thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. His heart had soared and he had always treasured that moment deeply in his heart. He had quickly whipped out his camera before Alec could protest and captured this moment, freezing it in time.

_Because soon that's all that you'll have left of him. Memories. _

The bitter truth penetrated his sweet memories bringing him crashing back to reality.

Seeing this was enough to break all of Magnus' barriers and he collapsed in tears, again, hugging the picture to his chest as if it were his only life-line. All thoughts of his mini Alec funeral thing raced out of his head. It was just too soon. _Perhaps he'd never be ready to get over Alexander Lightwood _he thought desperately. The dark haired beauty had innocently ploughed into the deepest depth's of Magnus' heart making him impossible to eradicate.

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**Poor Magnus :'( I'm getting sick of this monologue so he's going to get a little... visit in the next chapter and then back to my gorgeous Alec :3 You can kinda tell who my favourite characters are... **


	3. Fear

**Okay so no more Magnus self pity... well maybe a little and a lot of Issy kicking his ass Yay! Go Issy! And a little bit of a song... Anyone guess what I was listening to at the time. Mind you it's just another thing I don't own like the entire Mortal Instruments which Cassandra Clare owns... Do I have to say this before every chapter? How depressing :(**

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A harsh ringing sound brought Magnus to his senses. _That damn buzzer will be the end of me! _He thought morosely. Hadn't he specifically ordered his clients not to come within a ten mile radius of his apartment if they valued their lives and those of their loved ones. After all he was _the _Magnus Bane. He could turn you into a pile of dust if your shoes didn't match your top. Not that it had ever happened... Much. So obviously he didn't want his clients seeing him in this vulnerable state. _Ridiculous that an 800 year old warlock is heartbroken over some stupid asshole of a shadow hunter. Pull yourself together, _he mentally chided himself.

'Go away'. He wheezed. Please not the angry relatives coming to punch him in the face or worse do Alec's dirty work for him.

_'But you didn't have to stoop so low. Have your friends collect your records and change your number... Now you're just somebody that I used to know.' _The lyrics floated through his mind, some stupid mundie song. How_ fitting_ he thought.

More persistent knocking rousing Magnus out of his reverie, pursued by a violent banging which threatened to collapse the whole apartment and the recognisable voice of Isabelle Lightwood shouting 'Magnus Bane if you don't open this door RIGHT NOW! I **WILL** BARGE IT DOWN!' Magnus hobbled over to the door, knowing full well what Alec's feisty sister was capable of and praying that it wasn't blatantly obvious how torn to shreds he was.

His efforts were pointless, as he opened the door, he realised that Alec's sister was not her usually tough, capable self. She was crying. Black mascara smudged tears trickled down her cheeks and her chocolate brown eyes were puffy and red. Her usual silky smooth hair was in tangled, unruly knots and she was wearing one of Alec's ragged old jumpers and some old tattered jeans.

Magnus stifled a gasp of horror as he realised that even this feisty fashionista was broken over the blue eyed angel. Or so he presumed. Alec had managed to weave his way into so many hearts despite his natural distaste for attention from others. Ironic really.

'Where is he?' she whispered.

'Who?' replied Magnus, playing innocent.

A flash of fury blazed through her eyes as she snapped at him. 'You _know _who. Tall, pale, dark hair, usually responds to the name Alec!_' Ah Isabelle,_ thought Magnus, always able to snap snide comments even in this state. But her next words chilled him to the bone. 'I _know _he likes to stay here and be elusive for a few days or weeks and really we all respect your privacy to have some time together but a _month! _Without so much as a phone call or text just to reassure us he's alive! Was I _ever _going to see him again! We're worried sick! Neither of you were answering the door or your phones! Now grab his sorry ass out of your bedroom or wherever he's hiding and drag him out here!' Magnus was frozen in shock, a part of him wondering how to tell Isabelle the news and a part of him twisting in fear at the thought of Alec missing for a month.

'Isabelle you really shouldn't be ranting to me about this because your brother and I broke up a month ago and I haven't seen him since. He was _supposed _to pick up his stuff and get out of my life one frikkin' _month_ ago but his stuff is still here!' He yelled, angrily gesturing towards the little pile in the middle of the room. 'And yet here I am having to break it to his sister that it's _over!_ He broke my heart into little pieces and stomped on it with his muddy, duct taped boots. Now he can't face up to the consequences because he's such a back stabbing little coward!' Magnus yelled back, his fury rising with each word as tears escaped his eyes. Yep, he was definitely at the vengeful stage now.

Isabelle's eyes widened as the impact of his furious outburst hit her. 'Magnus, how? He loved you more than anything. You were everything to him. I can't imagine how he could stand to hurt you intentionally!' She gasped, shaking her head in denial.

'Attempting to steal my immortality is not unintentional Issy and he's not here so you're wasting your time'. He said it in a resigned way as if discussing Alec was draining all of his energy away.

'Then where is he?' She demanded as if_ Magnus _had a clue. He shrugged his shoulders defeatedly trying to assume an air of indifference when really inside his panic was mounting.

'Magnus', Isabelle whispered with such despair and fear that Magnus _never _expected to hear from strong, brave Isabelle. His head immediately snapped up. 'I'm scared'

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**Magnus' POV**

Two words I never expected to hear from the fearless warrior and I could feel the feeling being reciprocated by myself whilst it battled with the other part that said I am not going to be a slave or pet to these damn shadow hunters _again_.  
'Isabelle' I sighed leaning heavily against the doorway, 'This is not my problem'. Isabelle's eyes starting watering in despair at my harsh comment. 'Besides, he's probably just sulking somewhere, drinking away his problems, hiding from reality and his family like the coward he is'. Ouch! My words bit deep releasing my fury and inner turmoil. I knew Isabelle shouldn't be hurt in this way but I didn't care anymore. I wanted the Lightwoods to pay or, hell, just any other human beings.

Isabelle glared at me. The pure hatred and ferocity of her death glare almost burning my eyes. She pulled me towards her by my collar and hissed menacingly in my ear 'Listen up **_Bane_**' She spat my name like it was poison. 'I don't care if he broke your heart because, knowing you, you broke each other's and Alec would _never _do that on purpose. But if you knew Alec at all you would know that he wouldn't do that. He isn't a coward. He can face reality unlike you. I smell it on your breath Warlock; drinking away your problems. Alec doesn't do that and he most certainly wouldn't leave his family in the dark for a whole bloody month. Which means he's in danger. Magnus Bane _you_ are the coward. You flee as soon as it doesn't suit your needs or interests or just when it gets too tough. Well have you ever thought of being like Alec for once.' her voice softened slightly at the mention of her brother. 'Being selfless and brave', she broke of with a sob.

'Help me find him Magnus. I don't care what happened between you two. You don't need to get back together or anything just... Just do this one last thing. For Alec. For the love you once had'. She was now speaking in a whisper as tears gently flowed down her cheeks.

Her words rang true. I am a coward. I flee at the first sight of peril and don't help anyone unless I gain anything. My love for Alec was all that kept me around. Without him I would have fled from the ever impeding war by now. If Alec is in danger... I still love him. Hell I would probably still do anything for him. I really haven't got anywhere in getting over Alec in this past month. Vengeful stage my ass. I didn't realise I was mumbling the words out loud until I saw Isabelle's eyes widen in confusion. Maybe I've spent too much time in seclusion. I'm starting to sound like I have mental health issues. But isn't that what love does to you. It drives you to despair.

'Fine. I'll help you'. I agreed, grabbing my shoes and a jacket and following Isabelle out onto the street. With an ache I realised it was Alec's jacket.

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**Woo! Go Issy! I doubt somehow that Issy would say bloody... That's more my sorta word. Finally I own something that Cassandra Clare doesn't! Now I'm gonna stop being so melodramatic with Magnis and go back to my lovely Alec FINALLY! But he may not be quite the same as we left him...**


	4. Fire and Ice

**So, thank you to all of those who reviewed or added my story to their favourites :) Now we're back to my lovely Alec yay! Except he's not really mine ane neither is the Mortal Instruments. Sigh. I'm still giving you the silent treatment Cassie Clare :'(**

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Alec Lightwood was burning.

At first all he could think about was the pain. He was burning, burning, burning and there was no one there to hear his criess of agony. He felt his whole skin on fire and if he was able to open his eyes he would, just to make sure he wasn't made of ash. Ash and flames. It's funny though, although he's burning, he can't hear the crackle of the flames. If he was in a better state of mind, he would have thought about that. But he wasn't. All he could think about was the pain.

Burning, burning, burning.

Slowly though, the pain began to recede, replaced instead with the empty nothingness he felt inside him. The cold spread through him, freezing his entire being. Fire and ice. He started shivering, the cold seeping through his skin, his entire being. _Which one's worse? _Alec thought, _the burning or the freezing?_

He knew that he was slowly freezing to death. But he also knew it wasn't the only thing whittling his life away.

The cold wet tunnel floor pressed into his back from where he lay sprawled on the floor in a pool of blood; probably his own. The last image he remembered was Maureen's blood thirsty eyes as her needle like incisors came down to pierce his skin and her blood curdling laugh ringing in his ears.

At first he'd fought back when she advanced, as she inevitably would being a blood thirsty vampire. He nimbly blocked her lunges, brandishing a seraph blade with the full intention of killing her. Maureen, despite being a vampire, was only 13 and Alec could quite easily have swiftly killed her... or so he thought.

_But what's the point? _A poisonous voice had echoed in his mind. _You've lost Magnus, the only thing worth living for. Why go on? _His momentary distraction was enough for the blood thirsty vampire to savagely sink her teeth in his skin, sucking greedily at it like a dog would suck a bone.

Alec let her, having lost his will to fight back. He felt the warm blood trickling down his neck as she sucked greedily on his skin and her cold hands clamping his neck. But just when he was dancing on the edges of unconsciousness Magnus' voice whispered in his head '_Alec, be strong. You can live without me'._

Then Issy's frantic voice '_don't do this to me Alec. Don't do this to mum! I'll be the only one left!'_

And finally Jace's voice surprisingly laced with emotion despite his usual cocky comment_ 'Alec. Don't be an idiot. Fight you brain dead moron!' _

It was like that moment in Harry Potter when Harry was facing Lord Voldermort and he saw all of his family and the ones he loved. _Jeez, Magnus' love of all things mundane had really gotten to him_ Alec thought with a little sigh.

That was the moment when Alec realised he did actually want to live, not die in this dim corridor without ever seeing the light of day again. He wanted to see his family one more time at least. To say goodbye.

However, he was locked in Maureen's vice like grip, making it near impossible to escape. So in his desperation he did the only thing he could. He bit her.

Maureen shrieked and pulled away whilst Alec desperately scrabbled for his seraph blade. But Maureen was too quick for Alec in his weakened state and soon she had tackled Alec to the floor and was draining Alec's life force away. Alec was helpless and slowly he drifted into unconsciousness. _I love you Magnus. _And the world went black.

It was the burning that had woken him out of his dark oblivion but since then he had made no effort to move from his crumpled position.

Maureen was long gone now and Alec had no idea how long he had been lying in this tunnel. He was sure he was near death with his ragged breathing becoming more and more difficult and his heart only fluttering feebly in his chest. Surprisingly he was quite calm about his impending doom, awaiting it with slight trepidation like one might wait for a spoonful of unpleasant medicine. _At least _he thought, _I'll be with Max._

Alec painfully blinked open his eyes, the first time in hours. Not quite what he hoped of his final resting place, a dark, dingy tunnel all alone. So alone. He wondered if his family would ever find him; if they'd bury him in the family crypt. What he would give to see the people he loved one last time, then he could let go. Oh well, he had always expected to die young anyway. It was what tore him and Magnus apart. Love. It was such a deadly curse. _To love is to destroy _thought Alec as he gradually closed his eyes and tried to welcome death. _Here I come little brother. _As he finally succumbed to sleep and his heart gave one last frantic beat he could swear he heard faint footsteps in the distance. Maybe it was an angel coming to welcome him to heaven... _As if!_ Alec snorted, _I'm going straight to hell._

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**Pretty grim situation Alec's in there... :( I was in a happy mood when I wrote this ;) Review please even to tell me that I'm just as bad as Cassie Clare by killing off Alec... ;)**_  
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	5. Lost and found

**So, Cassie, I've forgiven you because we both seem to have a common interest in causing heart break to your characters (which I don't own by the way if you hadn't already guessed). This one's about Issy and Magnus and then I _promise_ in the next chapter we'll find out what happened to Alec...**

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**Isabelle, one week later**

They realised after the first day of searching just how dire the situation was. They had reluctantly enlisted the help of the clave, leaving out the details of the break-up and just saying that Alec had been on the scour for demonic behaviour. The only lead they had to go on was that he might be in a tunnel. That's it. After a week of restless searching, they still hadn't found anything.

Earlier on Isabelle had been told by her mother that they were decommissioning the search for Alec. Sebastian was more important and required their every effort. She had been sobbing and had barely managed to choke the words out to her stunned daughter. Isabelle had stormed out of the institute feeling a disgust for her vile race that called themselves half-angels. She couldn't help the ugly thought that maybe Alec's... sexual preferences had something to do with decommissioning the search. They didn't try nearly as hard as they did with Jace. She hated the lot of them.

She remembered Alec telling her just weeks ago that Jace was put on second priority because he was 'just another shadow hunter' as she had put it bluntly. Isabelle had never expected to see the same blue eyes filled with tears telling her yet more heart breaking news. Maryse had told them that they were expected to go back to leading 'normal lives' with a bitter laugh at the ridiculous notion that she could live with the loss of _another _son. Exactly what Alec had said about Jace. Like mother like son. Isabelle had never thought that she would be put in the same position just weeks after, only this time with Alec. The Lightwoods had been ripped to shreds yet again.

It seemed to her that the fates always had it in for her. They never allowed her or the ones she loved to be truly happy. There was always some obstacle in the way. Or maybe it was just one person that had it in for them. Sebastian. If she ever saw that evil monster again Isabelle swore she would lunge on sight, armed or not. He had caused so much heart break, he had ripped them apart and now he was hiding. She shivered in repulsion as vivid, violent images of just exactly what she would do to Sebastian if she ever saw him again floated through her mind. Revenge was bitter but she never expected to have such thirst for someone's blood like she did for Sebastian's. She wanted to rip him to shreds. To make him scream in agony like she was a blood thirsty beast. That was what Sebastian had inadvertently turned her into. A monster.

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**Magnus**

Magnus Bane was tired. He was tired of being caught up in all of this drama and heart break. How the hell did he get caught up in the middle of this? Hadn't he specified that he didn't want to be a pet, enslaved by the shadow hunters any more? And yet, he couldn't let go.

_Just to make sure he's alright and he's safe. Then I'lll leave. For good._ Magnus found himself having to say this more and more often as the week progressed. Every night a shadow hunter would come to his apartment to keep him up to date. Every night his heart soared for a moment with hope. Every night his hope was shattered when the shadow hunter would shake their head grimly and say 'nothing' in answer to the unspoken question in his wild eyes. 'We'll let you know'.

He had barely eaten or slept in the past week and it showed in his haggard face and tired eyes with heavy bags underneath them. He had been desperately trying to track Alec, sifting through the pile of possessions now glad for them being there. Nothing.

The only time that a shadow hunter was unable to track was in the case of Jace where dark magic was involved, if they had changed being or if they... Died. _No, he can't be dead _Magnus found himself chanting the words again and again, desperately trying to reassure himself until they lost their meaning _Nohecan'tbedead!_

He was sitting on his sofa stroking Chairman Meow who had returned as if the little cat knew Magnus was in a time of need. Isabelle had come by earlier on to say that they had decommissioned the search. Magnus wasn't surprised. Maybe he was a pessimist but he never trusted the shadow hunters, they were cruel enough to betray one of their own race.

As Magnus sat, buried deep in these depressing thoughts, a sudden knock brought him out of his cloud of despair reminding him of a week ago when Issy had barged down his door and demanded he help her. The start of his week of hell.

He opened the door to see Clary, a wild looK in her emerald eyes.

'Magnus, they've found him'. She gasped, out of breath having obviously run here. Magnus' whole being surged with hope as he grabbed his coat to see his darling shadow hunter. _No, not yours, _he chided himself mentally.

One look at Clary's eye's which were full of secrets and Magnus knew she wasn't telling him something. His hope began to plummet. They'd found Alec but in exactly _what_ state had they found him in?

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**Dun dun duuuuuuun! Cliffhanger! I will update later today if I get a chance after my maths exam :( That's right, I'm so dedicated I even update right before an exam :)**


	6. I'm a monster

**So the maths exam was pretty hard in case anyone cares, it probably wasn't such a good idea to go to a Coldplay concert the night before an exam... oh well they were bloody AMAZING! That was completely irrelevant, as for the story... well you'll see... *Laughs evilly to herself* Damn you Cassandra Clare for creating such an amazing story world which I want to steal. I'll stick with borrowing it for now but you just watch out... one of these days you'll find the front cover says Jenny Lightwood...**

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The graveyard was deserted. A dank mist hung around it, heightening the sense of foreboding one would often associate with a graveyard. Not exactly what you would call cosy. The crazy assortment of tombstones were arranged in rows sticking out of the ground like jagged teeth. A single torch shone feebly through the dark mist held aloft by the grimy hands of a solitary figure who stood before a pile of roughly heaped Earth. Not the usual place you would go in the dead of night but then this wasn't a usual occurrence...

Suddenly, the pile of earth began to twitch and tremble violently. Soon the dirt began erupting out of the make shift grave and the figure stood back, not wanting to get dirt on their new shoes.

A pale hand with mud caked fingernails penetrated the earth.

It hastily dug the mud away to reveal another pale hand, almost translucent in the torch light. The hands were violently shovelling the mud away in a frenzy to allow the owner to be free from their confinement. Suddenly, a head emerged from the earth with bloodshot eyes dancing frantically left and right. Blue, spidery veins curved intricately around its white neck and the blood seemed drained from its face.

It was hungry.

It took a deep breath, having been suffocated in the closely packed Earth but it was obviously thrown off guard with the lack of relief from the sudden rush of oxygen.

Soon the creature had dug itself out of the ground and shakily stood up. They sniffed the air whilst their eyes greedily scanned the graveyard, searching for prey. On catching sight of the torch bearing figure, it opened its bloodless lips and some needle sharp incisors slid out, gleaming in the torch light. The predator slowly started to advance towards its prey.

The stranger, not alarmed at all by this starving predator, merely took out a few bags of blood and placed them on the ground in front of them like giving a bone to a hungry dog.

The vampire saw this and decided that it would take the easy way out and go for the bags of blood and not the innocent bystander, for convenience not sentimentality. It darted forwards in a blur with the incredible vampire speed and clawed at the bag, greedily sucking at the blood as it dripped down its paper white neck. The scarlet liquid was shocking against its pale skin.

The stranger merely tossed more bags to the vampire until sensing a saturation and the vampire came to its senses, no longer controlled by the blood lust.

'I'm a monster!' cried the vampire sinking to its knees as the hunger wore away and it realised what it was. Huge sobs racked its slender body as it tried to claw at its skin in utter revulsion at what it was.

A high pitched, blood curdling laugh which the vampire remembered from somewhere... When had he heard that laugh before?

'Yes Alec, yes you are like me! A blood sucking monster!' a girl's voice replied but she was slightly hidden, shrouded in the darkness. 'But you're _my _monster!' she hissed possessively, leaning closer in a menacing way so that Alec was looking into Maureen's demented eyes.

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**You caught me _IamGingerButtons_, I have sentenced Alec to a life of bloodsucking as a member of the night children! What's he gonna do? Read on to find out... Well actually don't, I haven't posted the next chapter yet :/ I just always wanted to say that :)**


	7. Denial

**Who invented the exam? Whoever it is I'd like to meet them... **

**So I can punch them in the face. Thank you for the reviews! :) They mean a lot to me. As you all probably know by now, I don't own the MI, I probably never will... Blah di blah (man these exams have put me in a bad mood). This chapter is going back to the end of chapter 5 where Clary is taking Magnus to Alec...**

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Clary immediately began drawing a portal, her stele casting black, languorous swirls on the bare wall.

'Where are we...' Magnus began but was quickly silenced by Clary's thin arm pulling him towards the swirling vortex of colours with surprising strength in her bony wrist. He felt the familiar feeling of oblivion wash over him.

A few seconds later and he was looking up at the crumbling stone facade of the hotel Dumort. He remembered when it had been a lavish hotel with fine furnishings and sumptuous decorations. He had stayed there often. Now it was a crumbling wreck, long abandoned by the mundane owners and occupied by the New York Clan of vampires. The once grand entrance was now bricked up. Instead there was now a gaping gap in the building caused by God know's what and the lower windows were caked in dust casting a murky shadow. Ideal for the vampire lifestyle. Yeah, they were living the high life. Garbage lay strewn across the front with something that looked distinctly like bones and blood spilling out of the black bags. It looked... uninviting. To say the least.

'Clary why isn't he at the institute? Why are we here?' Magnus asked, impatient now with the lack of answers from the mysterious shadow hunter.

'Well... Alec's not...'Clary started to reply before she was cut off by Isabelle sprinting wildly up the street, her black hair whipping wildly around her face, looking surprisingly well balanced despite the fact that on one foot was a black stiletto heel and on the other a flat ballet pump. She had obviously left in a hurry but Magnus admired that even in this frantic state she didn't topple over.

'Clary, where's Alec? I came running over here as soon as I got the message!' Isabelle asked, her brown eyes darting frantically as she scanned the abandoned building before her.

'He's inside, on the fifth floor', replied Clary 'but Isabelle he's...' She was already gone with Magnus following behind her as they charged through the gap in the side of the building leaving Clary to follow behind with a sense of apprehension.

They charged up the grimy, velvet staircase, not stopping to see the the cobwebbed chandeliers, the faded portraits of people long forgotten or the livid, white faces of the vampires that peeked behind the doorways, hidden amongst the shadows.

They burst through a rotten doorway into a large room which was obviously once a suite but had been long devoid of furniture. A small chandelier shone feebly casting a sallow yellow light on the room and leaving long shadows in the corners of it.

A silhouetted figure was leaning against the wall shrouded in the shadows.

Alec.

Magnus' heart began to pound as he felt the sudden rush of finally being reunited with him. Yet he felt his stomach lurch with a foreboding feeling as he caught sight of him lurking in the shadows.

'Alec?' Isabelle asked with a slight sense of trepidation in her tone.

'Yeah'. He replied casually, 'it's me'.

'Come in to the light then', said Isabelle her voice wavering, desperately wanting to hug her brother senseless but held back by a vague suspicious feeling. She felt it too. After a few moments of hesitation, Alec slowly moved towards the light. He moved in a different way Magnus noticed. Alec had never exactly been clumsy but he now moved in a more languid way. It wasn't the only change he noticed in Alec though...

Alec had always been beautiful in Magnus' eyes with his shocking, charcoal hair against his pale skin and stunning cerulean blue eyes. Magnus didn't know how but Alec looked even more pale, lacking the usual rosy blush that dotted his cheeks. Many would say that Alec had become even more beautiful as his features had been enhanced making him absolutely stunning but there was something... Missing.

His fashion sense had evidently changed as well as he now wore a studded, bad ass leather jacket with black skinny jeans and a tight red T-shirt which displayed his delicious muscles. It was the makeover that Magnus had always envisioned giving Alec. But never had he thought that Alec would change so drastically on his own.  
Isabelle obviously noticed the change as well as she stifled a startled gasp before she rushed towards her brother and buried him in a hug. He stood there stiffly before he awkwardly wrapped arms around her._ Something's not right, _thought Magnus.

'What happened?' Magnus asked as Alec attempted to disentangle himself from his overly affectionate sister who was backing away from Alec with a look of confusion on her face. Alec stiffened at the question. It went unanswered as Isabelle asked another question.

'Alec, why are you so... Cold?' Alec's eyes shifted uneasily as if he was hiding something... Then it clicked, what was missing. His eyes. He was like a doll with a beautiful perfection but... Lifeless. They had no spark or fire that Magnus associated with Alec. They might as well have been made out of glass.

Isabelle had begun to realise this as well. 'Take off your jacket', she whispered, a look of disbelief on her face as a sudden realisation dawned on her. _No, he can't be. He can't be._

'Why?' Asked Alec, looking more and more suspicious by the second as he tried to retreat into the safety of the shadows.

'Just do it!' demanded Isabelle as she shook her head wildly _No he can't be. He can't be._

Alec shrugged off his leather jacket, carelessly tossing it to the dusty floor. It revealed a pair of pale, lightly muscled arms. They were flawless, silky smooth. Bare of the black, inky marks that usually intricately wound their way around his arm or the shimmery white scars. They had simply... Disappeared. Which would mean that he's...

'You're a, you're a' Isabelle gasped _no he can't be. He can't be. He can't be. He CAN'T be._

'Vampire', Alec filled in smoothly as some sleek, elongated fangs slid out of his ruby red lips.

Isabelle fainted.

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**So... That was kinda long. What d'ya think? Review please? ;)**


	8. Betrayal

**Right, I have a lot to say in this AN if anyone actually reads them. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the reviews! I know that you will all hate me for this chapter. You said you wanted more Malec interaction and somehow I don't quite think you meant like this...**

** Anyway, as they say good things come to those who wait... and review my stories.**

******In this chapter it changes POV a lot just for the hell of it, to spice it up a bit whereas normally I just have a 3rd person narrator.**** Tell me if you like it or not :) **Anyway, I apologise, be patient and as you all know I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

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Alec was staring blankly at his sister collapsed on the floor who was being attended to by a frantic Clary. There was no surprise at his sister fainting, a first in her entire life. There was no remorse for scaring his sister. No concern for her welfare. Nothing. A blank, distant look filled his eyes. _Ok, something's __**seriously **__wrong, _thought Magnus.

'Alec, who did this to you?', he asked as he stepped closer to Alec who was still baring his fangs for all to see. Alec whipped his head round to Magnus in a blur and looked up at him with eyes clouded with blood lust. Unnerving. But before Alec was about to answer him, a high pitched voice silenced everything.

'_I _did', stated Maureen proudly as she glided out of the shadows effortlessly and every head snapped in her direction.

**Maureen's POV**

Everyone looked up at me. I could see what I presumed to be Alec's sister being comforted by a red haired girl. My insides twisted with bitterness. I remembered that red haired girl, Simon's best friend. He had always been hopelessly in love with her which made me so jealous I wanted to slap her. There she was with my Simon's hand in her heart and she was too stupid to realise. She broke it as expected and I hoped that he would turn to me. After all I had always been there for him. Then those two girls had got in the way and I realised that one of them was the girl who had fainted. _Isabelle. _Now I wanted to lunge for _her _throat as well. _All in good time. _Well, all of you look who's laughing now.

I smiled with glee as I looked upon the scene of utter chaos I had caused. I was finally noticed. I was finally in my rightful position. I walked over to Alec, admiring my handiwork. Yes, he was a fine one. Gorgeous, although he could never replace my darling Simon. All eyes were switched to me with a look of abstract horror as I glided over to Alec and placed my hand possesively on his arm.

'But _how?'_ asked the stunned, glittery Warlock. Magnus, that was the name that Alec had been screaming so I presumed this was the so called _High Warlock_ of Brooklyn. He looked rather a pathetic sight in a baggy tracksuit with his hair limp and mask of make-up slipping. Ha! He had nothing on me, the queen of the New York clan, in my gorgeous, sultry, black dress. A bit of a shame that I was frozen in this childish body forever but, hey you can't have it all.

I sighed at how dimwitted they all were. 'Do you not know how a vampire transformtion works?', I asked, exasperation creeping into my voice. 'I bit him, he bit me, we're all one big family', I laughed at my own wit, leaving out the fact that it was a rather unwilling transformation, let them think he was desperate to be a creature of the night. 'Now, if you'll excuse us. We'll be heading back to our clan'.

'Your _clan?_', shrieked Clary, a note of hysteria in her voice. I smiled. Oh this was going to be fun.

'Yes. Did I forget to mention that Alec is mine now?'. I replied innocently, my grin growing as I saw the shock etched on their faces.

'He's not _yours. _He never _will be. _He's coming with_ us!' _demanded a golden haired boy that stood at the back. Hhmmm delicious I was surprised I hadn't noticed him before.

I laughed knowingly at their naïveté. Stupid shadow hunters thinking they could just take him back like that. He was _mine, all mine._ 'Alec,' he turned to face me. 'who would you rather go with? Your family or _us', _I asked sweetly, motioning at the white faces of the rest of my clan as they silently filled the room around us.

**Clary's POV**

The vampires were surrounding us, limiting our chances of escape. Issy was finally slowly regaining consciousness in Jace's arms to wake up to the nightmare of a situation we were now in. We all gathered into a small group, backing up against the wall. The elongated incisors gave me the feeling that this wasn't a friendly gathering. I grabbed Jace's hand for comfort, briefly remembering the time when we had rescued Simon from this awful place. Speaking of which... Where was Simon? He was the one that had found Alec, although what he had been doing in the Dumort was beyond me.

'I will stay with my clan. They are my family now', Alec replied calmly which made my heart lurch. Why was Alec acting like this? Simon was supposed to be a member of this clan but he didn't...

The thought was cut off completely as I caught sight of one of the many vampires. His gamer T-shirt was hard to miss along with the scruffy brown hair which looked so innocent, contrasting wildly with the sharp, white fangs dripping with scarlet blood.

Simon.

**Magnus' POV**

A stab of betrayal went through me as I saw Alec choose _them _over us. How could he do this to us? To the ones he cared about?

It was nothing though compared to the heart break I felt when he knelt in front of Maureen like a dog to its master, looking up at her with adoring eyes. Maureen obviously saw my look of despair as she smiled victoriously and a wicked glint caught in her eye. I nervously looked around at all the vampires, desperately trying to think up a solution to escape. Through the corner of my eye I saw Jace's hand twitch to the seraph blade at his side and a feeling of apprehension made my stomach lurch.

'Now we know his loyalties, let us get back to the matter at hand', Maureen said. There was a moment of utter silence whilst the tension in the room stifled us as we awaited our fate. I looked around at the pale, translucent faces of the vampires, hissing and baring their fangs. The chances of our survival were slim to none. Then I saw Simon in the crowd with the same blank, distant look in his eyes as Alec as he took up a fighting pose. _If they're both acting like this then maybe they're..._

'Attack', hissed Maureen and Alec lunged for my throat.

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**Damn this cliffhanger curse! Seriously, I can't seem to stop writing them! I am so sorry! Things will settle down in the next few chapters... Or will they? Mwahaha To be honest, I don't really like this chapter but I wanted to experiment with Maureen's POV because I reckon she'd be bitter about Simon. Tell me what you think of it. Review please? :)**


	9. He's not coming back

**I had two versions of this chapter and, after much debate, decided to go with this one... I don't own it, as usual, although I have hatched a plan to steal it from Cassie Clare... All I would need is a few million dollars...**

**Magnus' POV**

It had to be me he lunged for didn't it? Not Jace. Not Clary. _Me_.

What could I do? I was in such a conundrum as I desperately tried to think up a way of detaching him from me without hurting him. I could never do that. His ice cold hands gripped my throat. I looked into his deep blue eyes which had a predatory glint in them. It looked so unnatural on Alec's sparkling eyes. I gazed into them deeply as I desperately tried to get him to remember who he was. I saw what I thought was a glimmer of recognition in his eyes and felt a brief flutter of hope.

And that's when he sank his teeth into my throat.

His lips sucked greedily at my skin. The same lips that had kissed me so tenderly in that exact spot just a few weeks ago. I could feel myself going woozy and finally accepted that Alec wasn't going to stop, he wasn't coming back any time soon. _Sorry Alec, _I whispered mentally before kneeing him in a very sensitive area. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I felt his fangs release from my throat as he gasped in surprise and a warm trickle of blood ran down my neck. I used this moment of weakness to prepare my spell to knock him out,using the same spell I had when he was under the fearless rune, only I would need it to be more powerful this time as I didn't want an angry vampire waking up any time soon. Sparks erupted in my fingertips and Alec sank into my arms as I picked him up bridal style. It would have been _so_ romantic had Alec not just tried to kill me a few seconds ago and we weren't surrounded by blood thirsty vamps.

_Focus Magnus_.

All around me the vampires were advancing and Jace and Issy were struggling to fend them off with their seraph blades whilst Clary frantically scribbled a portal on the wall behind them. Summoning up all of my magic, I formed a magical barrier between the vampires and our little alliance. The vampires snarled at us, angry at the sudden loss of dinner and Isabelle hurriedly ushered us into the portal. I went through first with Alec cradled in my arms like a baby. Emerging into the comforting sunlight.

**3rd person no POV**

'NO! What about Simon?', screamed Clary as she desperately fought against Isabelle who was trying to get her into the portal.

'Leave him Clary. He'll be fine', said Isabelle, knowing this wasn't true but desperate as the magical barrier disappeared and the vampires began to surge forward. They both sprinted through the barrier, feeling the vampires clawing at their clothes, before they stepped into the dazzling sunlight.

They had been portalled just outside Magnus' apartment on to the crowded street. It was so incongruous with the whole situation; the mundanes panicking about their heavy work loads, oblivious to the potentially apocalyptic mythical battles right under their noses.

Clary had tears streaming from her emerald eyes and was gasping, angry and distraught at the loss of Simon. She started screaming at Isabelle.

'How could you just leave him there?'

Isabelle, surprisingly calm and emotionless, replied, 'He'll be fine Clary. He's a vampire for god's sake!'

Clary was now hysterical 'He will NOT be fine! He could DIE! Do you...'

She was cut off mid rant when suddenly Jace cried 'Magnus! Get Alec out of the sunlight! He's a vampire!' when he saw Alec's flesh sizzling in the sunlight. They had all been so ever whelmed by the fight that they had forgotten about Alec's... Condition. Angry red boils were covering Alec's pale skin and his face was twisted in excruciating pain.

Magnus cursed before he sprinted into the apartment, through the door that he'd left ajar in his rush earlier and into his bedroom where he dumped Alec unceremoniously onto the bed and frantically shut the blinds. He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily from the exertion and the adrenaline surging through his veins.

After a few moments he looked over at Alec. The ugly, violent expression from the attack had disappeared and he now had a serene, calm look upon his sleeping face. Magnus knew it wouldn't last long when he woke up.

The angry red splotches from the sunlight exposure were already disappearing and if you didn't know any better you would say that he hadn't changed at all; he was still as beautiful as ever.

But Magnus did know better.

He knew that under those rosy, pink lips lurked razor, sharp fangs awfully willing to penetrate his flesh.

He knew that those dazzling sea blue eyes now portrayed no other emotion other than then thrill of a good hunt and kill.

And he knew that Maureen had twisted something inside of Alec. She had twisted it until it shattered and his innocent, loving shadowhunter was gone for now, replaced by this ruthless monster.

The sad thing was that Magnus still couldn't let go. Even though he knew that Alec was gone, replaced by a mindless follower. Replaced by a killer. He couldn't leave him in the desperate hope that one day his love would return. He has to.

'Come back to me Alec', whispered Magnus sombrely as a single, glistening tear slid down his cheek.

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**I wasn't expecting it to get so deep at the end there :/ I surprised myself, :) I'm so cruel to Simon who has been left in the vampire den... Oh well :) he's not my favourite character. Sorry to anyone who's a loyal Simon fan... Read and review? :)**


	10. Visiting hours

**This is the longest chapter yet and it's taken a bit longer to get it right. I'm still not really sure about it... Some parts may confuse you a little but all will be explained in the next chapter when there's gonna be more Malec interaction yay! Happy times... Or maybe not. :O**

**I have upped the rating to T because I'm paranoid and it gets a little... Sadistic. I won't say anymore...**

**God this is a long AN. Don't own any of it, I just enjoy making Cassie Clare's characters do my bidding. mwahaha :)**

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Magnus placed a locking spell on all possible methods of escape to Alec's room. It added a sense of finality to the situation. Alec was the bad guy now, no longer on Team Good (if there ever was one in the first place) and now he was their prisoner. It gave Magnus a sickening feeling.

The others were sat on the couch looking exhausted but not severely wounded from the minor battle. Clary's cheeks were flushed, nearly matching her hair and she looked were arguing heatedly.

'Face it Clary. They've made their decision', snapped Isabelle venomously, barely looking up as Magnus collapsed into the couch opposite her. 'If he's going to choose the opposite side then he might as well be dead to me'.

Clary's eyes widened at the harsh statement before she replied in a furious tone 'He's my _best_ friend Isabelle. He's _your_ boyfriend. I can't just let him go without a fight. I love him and I thought you did too. Nice to know that this is how you treat the ones you love. How can you turn your back on them and just give up so easily?'

'It's easy when they're traitors', said Isabelle but Magnus could tell her heart wasn't really in it. She was in the same situation as Magnus, feeling betrayed but unwilling to accept it or let go. The blue eyed angel had them all trapped, helpless.

'Have any of you actually considered the possibility that they didn't have a choice in the matter?', inquired Magnus reasonably, trying to calm down Isabelle and Clary before it escalated into a cat fight.

'You mean they're possessed or under mind control?', asked Jace who for once seemed to be taking a neutral point of view in the debate.

'Something like that. We can try and question Alec when he wakes it could be a few hours, I put a really powerful spell on him. We can start doing a little research in the mean time though', having said that Magnus summoned all of the books he knew of about vampire law, possession and mind control and slammed them down in a huge stack on the coffee table. 'Read little shadow hunters. Read like your lives depend on it'.

Four hours, six cups of coffee and thousands of books later and they still had no idea what could have driven Alec and Simon to betray them.

'This is pointless!' sighed Isabelle in frustration as she lobbed a book at the wall. Magnus glared at her pointedly before he fixed the dent and retrieved the book.

'Maybe we need to ask one of the silent brothers', said Clary, rubbing her eyes wearily as she slumped against the couch. When she closed her eyes she saw little black words imprinted on her eyelids.

'No, they specialise in shadow hunter law', said Jace who was looking the most energetic out of all of them and was still rigorously leafing through the dusty old books. Magnus found it extremely irritating but then most things the golden boy did made Magnus annoyed or irritated. 'Maybe we could just confront Maureen and ask her what she did to them', Jace got an excited glint in his eye at the thought of confrontation, he was not one to sit around and read books like Alec. _So immature_, thought Magnus.

'I'm sure that will go down well' huffed Clary sarcastically. 'Hi Maureen we just popped in to ask you what you've done to Alec and Simon to make them into blood-sucking monsters and to turn them against us so that they follow your every wish and command. Was it possession or mind control? Just so that we can reverse it. Ok, thanks bye!'

Isabelle sighed resignedly, 'I think...we're just going to have to accept that Simon and Alec are...' At this point Isabelle was cut off by a high pitched scream resounding from Alec's room.

* * *

**Alec**

He was chained to a wall in a dark, damp prison cell. In the cell next to his was Simon who was lying defeatedly on the floor with a vague sense of deja vu, being all too familiar with the bars etched with symbols of his faith, boiling his skin. It was rather ironic that his beliefs in a God looking after him from above could so easily be turned into a method of torture as they so often were. Maybe it was a sign that God had given up on him, turned his back on him. He wouldn't be surprised.

At first Alec, who was not used to being imprisoned, tried to frantically escape and had burned his hands raw with crosses of his faith. The outlines were still there, joined by numerous new ones but the desire to escape had long gone as he too was lying on the floor in defeat. It seemed like he has been locked in this prison for years and the numerous 'Visits' had merged into one. They seemed to be getting progressively worse, the last one had left him unconscious for hours. He had lost track of how long it had been since he had been put in this prison, since he'd seen daylight. He would have done anything just to see one shaft of sunlight. But he was too lost in the darkness and agony to beg.

He wondered with a detached interest, after he guessed a day had passed since the last Visit, whether they were just going to leave him down here to rot, never to be found again. That seemed to be happening to him a lot lately. But still The Visits were normally more regular than this, every few hours.

He remembered his first Visit which involved spiders and knives. He was terrified, yet now it seemed relatively mild compared to the hell he was put through every few hours.

Alec wondered how much longer he would have to last before he could finally die, his damn vampire skin kept healing itself. Never had he thought suicide would look like a birthday present. The days seemed endless... Never ending mindless torture. His thoughts were cut off when a burly vampire guard approached his cell and opened the door. He grabbed Alec by the collar and hoisted him up off the ground. Alec was too exhausted to fight back by now and obeyed meekly. 'Someone wants to see you', the guard growled in Alec's face. His breath stank of rotting flesh and old blood. It sickened Alec that his stomach ached with longing and hunger pangs. He hadn't been fed in a while. 'Hurry, wouldn't want to waste precious visiting hours', the vampire laughed mirthlessly as he dragged a reluctant Alec out of the cell.

Alec decided that he would probably have preferred to be left in the cell to rot as he heard a maniacal laugh which made his stomach churn every time. He was dragged up the stairs into a dimly lit room and shackled to the cold, stone wall. The shackles were crusted with the rusty remains of old blood. His blood. And they cut deeply into Alec's skin. The room was empty except for a single chair and a table full of assorted objects ranging from sharp knives, to holy crosses, to buckets of what looked to be harmless water but Alec knew was as lethal as acid. He gulped uneasily, a sense of dread twisting in his stomach. He'd been in this room before on countless times and it never ended well.

Maureen entered the room and beamed broadly, greeting him like an old acquaintance. 'Hello Alec, how pleasant to see you again. But... Surely you're getting tired of this by now', she looked at him sympathetically, willing him to give up. To break. She was met with the cold slap of silence. Alec refused to break. Maureen was expecting this, they had been through it many times so it was really just for formalities, a well rehearsed script that they had repeated again and again.

She continued breezily on 'Now, as I have said numerous times before, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way', she said brightly as if she was telling him that he'd just won the lottery. She looked pointedly at the implements of torture. Alec knew all too well what the hard way was. 'What will it be?' Alec glared at her with pure hatred and remained in stony silence. Maureen's eyes narrowed slightly but the grin never left her face 'I see. Still remaining stubborn are we? Never mind, it's more fun this way,' and she nodded to the vampire next to her who picked up one of the buckets of holy water.

'You can include his face now, it'll heal', instructed Maureen as she sat back in a chair to watch the show. That was new, she normally instructed that his 'gorgeous' face be kept intact. She had stepped it up a level. The vampire nodded and advanced closer to Alec with the bucket held in one hand. The vampire grasped Alec by the hair roughly which made him gasp. Then he plunged his head in the bucket and held it down.

Alec was in agony. The water surrounded his skin, burning like pure acid and leaving livid red marks. He couldn't breathe, nor could he move. He didn't even have the luxury of screaming. Alec was writhing against the shackles for what felt like hours until he finally felt the grip slacken and he emerged from the water, screaming. His face was red raw and distorted beyond recognition. Maureen laughed hysterically and clapped her hands delightedly. 'Again, again!' she squealed.

* * *

Alec awoke in a cold sweat. He was breathing heavily and he lay tangled in a grey comforter. He couldn't remember what he had been dreaming, all he knew was that it was a terrible nightmare and he was very glad it was over.

Slowly, Alec took in his surroundings. He was in what looked to be Magnus' room from the multitude of sparkly clothes that lay strewn messily all over the furniture. It was very odd though because he was sure this comforter used to be canary yellow but instead that and the rest of the contents of the room were a dull grey. Magnus must have changed it with his mood as he so often did. Grey was an unusual colour choice for the rainbow loving warlock though. And where was said warlock? How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was breaking up with Magnus and finding Maureen in the tunnel... The last thing she had said to him was 'it was me' and then... Blank. He couldn't remember anything past then.

The one thing he did remember was breaking up with Magnus. Ironically, it was the one thing he hoped to forget. Magnus' words still echoed painfully around his empty head 'It's over. I don't want to see you again, Alec'. So why then was he asleep in Magnus' room?

He heard muffled voices and untangled himself from the sweaty sheets. He felt light headed mixed in with a foreign feeling. It wasn't quite hunger, more... thirst. _Very odd_, thought Alec as he gingerly headed to the door. But as he passed Magnus' huge, now grey vanity, something caught his eye.

He was wearing black skinny jeans and a tight red T-shirt. _Magnus must have dressed me_, he sighed. But when he looked in the mirror, expecting to see the black curling marks and rough scarred skin, instead he found his pale skin was bare. They had... Gone. Alec gasped and looked down at his arms as if he could will them into existence. Instead he found the implants of crosses on his hands and arms. They were a very faint white outline, you would only see them if you looked very closely, etched into his hands and his arms repeatedly. But he found no marks or other signs of his shadow hunting life.

_I must be dreaming_, he thought and pinched himself, hard. Nothing happened. _Wake up, wake up, wake up Alec_, he started chanting to himself. _This is a nightmare_, it has to be. But if this is the nightmare, then was the dream the reality? As he grew more and more frantic he bit his tongue roughly in frustration. The salty tang of blood filled his mouth making some sharp fangs emerge from his gums and penetrate his lower lip.

Alec screamed.

* * *

**The others**

Upon hearing the scream, they all looked at each other, a sense of foreboding hanging over them like a curtain. Magnus slowly got to his feet and approached the bedroom with trepidation like one would approach an angry tiger. He cautiously opened the door to find Alec frozen in shock before the mirror. Scarlet blood stained tears were trailing in rivulets down his pale cheeks. His fangs were extended and covered in a small smattering of blood which immediately made Magnus start to prepare another spell. But the expression on Alec's face stopped him short. He was staring at his vampire teeth in horror, revulsion and... Shock.

It was as if he had never seen them before.

When he heard the door open, Alec's head swivelled towards the intruder, eyes's still wide with shock. Magnus looked taken aback as well and he was furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

'Magnus, what am I?' gasped Alec.

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**Hhmm, I'm not sure about this chapter... Tell me what you think. It will be explained in the next chapter... Oh and Maureen would be a bit of a sadist in my opinion if you hadn't already guessed. :P**


	11. Forgotten

**This chapter is a bit... Well... It's shit.** **Writer's block has struck. Well, not so much writer's block as I have the idea but am struggling to write it down the way I want it. I have rewritten this chapter so many times and it'sstill not right but I don't think I'll ever write it the way I want it...**

**On the bright side of things... I've finished my exams to find out that I have 2 controlled assessments before the end of term yay! :( Anyway, you don't want to know about my boring life so read the story that I don't own in any way...**

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'You don't remember?' spluttered Magnus in shock.

'No', said Alec angrily as he turned away from the mirror in revulsion and shock, 'I don't. What the fuck has happened to me Magnus?' asked Alec. Magnus knew Alec was mad. Very mad. He only swore when he was extremely angry or extremely shocked. In this case it was a mixture of both.

For once, Magnus, the great socialite, was at a loss for words. He grasped onto the basic facts. 'You're a vampire', he stated dumbly. Alec shot him a look that just screamed 'no shit'.

Magnus continued on, unperturbed 'You went missing after I... Left you in the tunnel', he looked at the ground, unwilling to meet Alec's eyes. He continued 'We found you a few hours ago in the Hotel Dumort and you were kind of... Evil. You and Simon joined Maureen's clan after she turned you. According to her anyway. And then... You attacked me'. Magnus trailed off, not wanting to linger on the painful memories.

Alec gasped 'I would never...'

'Well ,you did', Magnus cut in sharply.'I have the bite marks to prove it',he pulled down his T-Shirt, revealing the incriminating evidence, before he continued.'We don't know what the hell happened to you Alec. We found you and you betrayed us, you went with Maureen. We still don't know if it was mind control, possession or... Something else. And now you just confuse matters even more by not remembering any of it', ranted Magnus who still hadn't lifted his eyes from the floor, afraid of what he might find.

He heard faint sobbing and looked up to find a heart shattering sight. Alec was softly crying, his eyes gleaming with despair. It made Magnus ache and want to hold the boy tight, shutting out the rest of the world. He almost did. Almost. The red tinged tears were his one reminder that this was not _his_ Alec. This was a monster, Maureen's monster.

Magnus sighed, 'what _do_ you remember?' he asked tentatively. He found himself half hoping that Alec didn't remember the break-up, it just added to their mountain high stack of problems.

As if Alec could read his mind, he replied 'I remember meeting Maureen in the tunnel after... You broke up with me', _damn_ thought Magnus as Alec let out a quiet sob. 'I was heartbroken. I wanted revenge and I went looking for Camille. She wasn't there... She was murdered by Maureen to get the New York clan. I'm sorry', Alec bowed his head, rubbing his cheeks and finding his fingers stained with red. It made his stomach growl.

Magnus felt nothing when he found out that Camille was dead. Nothing. No sorrow, love, longing. He was actually kind of glad the bitch was dead, she was the reason they were in this mess in the first place. Although he was slightly... unnerved by this heartlessness, seeing Alec looking longingly at the blood on his fingers unnerved him more, an ever present reminder of what he was.

Alec saw this look of revulsion and fear in Magnus' eyes and he felt the little shards of his heart break into smaller pieces. He was sure if someone looked at his 'heart' they would find microscopic shards scattered into the deepest, darkest depths, never to be retrieved again. How he hated love.

_I am a monster. I am a monster. I am a monster_.

He didn't evm realise when he collapsed in a tear wracked ball on the ground. The thoughts and memories whirred around his head. He was a monster. He had broken Magnus' heart and his own in the process. Then he had woken up to find that he had also hurt and betrayed everyone he loved. Not to mention the fact that he was a member of the night children and a traitor. And he _still_ couldn't remember one fucking minute of any of it.

Seeing the sight of Alec utterly demoralised made Magnus finally thaw. He saw the heartbreak and devastation, making him want to wrap his arms around his loved one, yet again.

So he finally caved.

He collapsed to the ground beside Alec and gathered his arms around him in a protective embrace. Alec clung to the warlock in desperation and sobbed into his shoulder. They didn't know how long they stayed there, locked in an embrace, never wanting to let go.

Minutes? Hours? Days?

Eventually Alec stopped crying and looked up at Magnus with gleaming blue eyes. It made Magnus realise what had been missing... It was all there, flooding back into Alec's burning bright eyes. The glass doll eyes were gone, replaced with the usual swirling emotions. And Magnus realised...

_His_ Alec was back.

'I promise, I will help you through this Alec', Magnus whispered fervently, kissing his rumpled hair softly.

Alec withdrew from Magnus slightly, coming back to his senses 'I think you made it quite clear that you never wanted to be involved in my life anymore Magnus', he said bitterly which made Magnus sting a little.

Magnus sighed, wondering how best to tell Alec how he felt.

That he had and always will forgive Alec for everything.

That Magnus would give Alec anything and everything.

That he loved Alec too much to ever let him go. And if Alec turned out to be a monster, he would love him still.

'I lied', Magnus said simply instead and kissed him passionately.

A kiss was the most effective way of telling Alec all of these feelings and more.

Alec's eyes widened before he melted into the kiss, pouring all of his emotions in to the kiss as well. His heartbreak, his fear and most of all his love.

When they pulled away because of Magnus' need for air, Magnus thought he saw a very pale pink hue to Alec's cheeks. Alec _would_ be the only blushing vampire.

They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments before Alec naively asked 'Wait. Does this mean we're back together now?'

Magnus rolled his eyes, Alec sure hadn't lost his charming cluelessness during the transformation. 'What do you think dumbass?' He asked, laughing before he kissed Alec's hair. The tense, emotional mood from before evaporated and Alec already felt some of the guilt and fear leave him. Alec nodded slowly before Magnus entwined their fingers, pulling him towards the door. 'Time to go see the angry siblings. Don't be alarmed if they try to decapitate you. It's just a precautionary measure'.

* * *

**As you can see, I got sick of all the angst and decided to give Magnus and Alec their 'happy moment'. :)**

**Like I said before, I really struggled with that chapter and reviews would be much appreciated even if they just say it was shit.**

**I have an idea where this _could_ go but... Should I just leave it there? :S Review please?**


	12. Snack time

**Thanks for the reviews, t****hey encouraged me to continue the story although one was rather... Angry lol, I'm not offended :). Anyway I don't know when or how this story is gonna end... So it's a bit of a magical mystery tour, I'm not one for planning :)**

**Ahh well, doesn't matter. It's not like I own it anway or why would I be on this site? Why would any of us be on this site if we owned the MI? Seriously, what is the point of the disclaimer? In case we forget we didn't write the book?**

**Gosh if this isn't rambling I don't know what is. This chapter is kind of a filler... i.e nothing much happens in it. Jeez, I really know how to sell it. So, yeah enjoy!**

* * *

_Time to go see the angry siblings. Don't be alarmed if they try to decapitate you. It's just a precautionary measure'. _

Alec looked slightly frightened of the thought despite the fact that Magnus was joking... Mostly. Magnus smiled at Alec reassuringly before opening the door. He found, however, that the door hit something solid and from the angry exclamation, Magnus guessed it was a person.

'Ow', came Jace's muffled cry from behind the door and Magnus saw them all sheepishly standing by the wall to his bedroom, a rune on the wall allowing them to see everything that had just happened through a little window. _Damn_. Magnus sighed, why hadn't he thought that they would be spying on their heartfelt moment? Clary slyly moved to cover up the incriminating evidence. Too late.

'So, I take it you're back together', said Jace as he gingerly touched his nose which had been squashed by the door.

'What makes you say that?' asked Alec stupidly.

'You have that 'I-just-found-out-I'm-undead-but-it's-ok-because-I-got-back-together-with-my-boyfriend' look on your face', Jace replied.

Isabelle rolled her eyes and inserted 'and... We saw it all'. Alec looked a bit horrified and noticed the peephole in the wall, he scowled which Magnus thought was rather cute and hugged him closer to his chest.

'You really don't remember anything?', asked Isabelle incredulously.

Alec shook his head in dismay 'I wish I could', he mumbled.

'I don't think you do', said Jace, a curious glint in his golden eyes. Alec furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as Jace moved closer to him and picked up Alec's hand, inspecting it closely. 'It looks like you've been tortured', he concluded and showed the others, tracing the faint white outlines etched into Alec's skin.

It brought strange images flashing through Alec's mind, brief, foggy glimpses that lasted only a second but that made Alec tremble in fear; a dark, dingy room, blood crusted handcuffs, a sadistic laugh ringing in his ears. He shivered.

Magnus stepped back and gasped as he saw Alec's wounds. He knew that it took weeks of constant torture to leave marks as deep as this, vampire skin healed so quickly. And he realised what Jace meant. No-one would want to remember _that_.

'What did she do to you?', Isabelle whispered in horror as she lurched towards Alec and cradled him gently in her arms, as if he were a baby doll.

Alec replied softly, 'she broke me'.

A small tear glistened down Isabelle's cheek which Alec brushed away delicately with his fingers as he comforted his sister. 'It's ok Iz. I'm back now', he whispered tenderly.

Issy looked up at Alec's shining eyes, once again brimming with tears. 'But for how long?', she asked.

It was the question that they had all avoided asking up until now. A cloud of apprehension misted over them. How long would Alec remain himself? What did Maureen do in the first place and why did it suddenly wear off? So many unanswered questions that somehow opened up numerous new ones when asked.

Isabelle clung tightly to her brother as if at any moment he would transform back into Maureen's blood sucking monster and Alec hugged her back just as tightly. The others stood a little apart from the two siblings, not wanting to intrude on this tender moment and trying to hide their concern for Alec.

'I think we need to tell mum about this', said Jace, finally breaking the tense silence that had enveloped around them.

Alec pulled away from Isabelle and shuddered 'No', he declared. 'She'll hate me. She'll disown me'.

Jace sighed impatiently 'Alec come on. Just think of it as... coming out of the closet...again. Only this time... You'll be admitting that you're undead instead. And I highly doubt that kissing Magnus and hoping for the best will work', Jace winked. Just like that the gloomy atmosphere dissolved, replaced with a light, teasing one. It was what they all loved about Jace, well... everyone but Magnus who hated everything about Jace.

Alec huffed 'Yeah, because telling your mum you prefer men and telling your mum you're an evil, bloodsucking monster are the same thing',he said, ignoring the jibe about kissing Magnus. _He_ thought he'd been brave. He looked down at the ground, his eyes a stormy blue.

'Do you want me to give you the same leaflets I gave Simon', Clary threatened menacingly.

Alec's eyes widened in horror 'That won't be necessary.', he said quickly. The mention of Simon brought yet another wave of apprehension to the group. 'Besides... It didn't really work did it?', he mumbled and Clary looked down at the floor, reminded of the emptiness inside her from her evil MIA best friend.

'Well... We best just get it out of the way then. She's the only one that I can think of that would help us', said Isabelle as she reached for her jacket, itching to get moving.

'Ok operation 'coming out' take two is a go', said Jace, grinning in what felt like years. He was quickly silenced by Alec's death glare.

They all collected their coats, Alec asking Magnus suspiciously why all of his belongings were piled haphazardly in the middle of the room. Magnus blushed, a rare sight, before mumbling something about spring cleaning and funeral pyres.

However, just as they got to the door, Alec felt faint and he began to sway, his vision going blurry.

Magnus steadied him before he collapsed 'Alec what's...' began Magnus but stopped when he saw Alec's eyes clouded with blood lust and his incisors poking out. Magnus would never admit it to Alec but his new fangs looked very... Sexy.

_Focus_, he scolded himself.

'Ah', he said simply 'Guys, I think a snack for Alec is in order'.

They all stopped moving and turned to look at Alec who looked sheepishly at the ground.

'Can we have a healthy volunteer? I sadly don't have blood on tap and Alec has already had more than a taste of my magnificent blood', Magnus announced, making Alec wish that he could sink into the ground. He started to protest feebly, claiming he was 'fine' but Magnus just waved it off.

They all looked at each other for a moment and an awkward silence followed before Isabelle piped up, 'I would. But ... Don't you think it would be kind of weird... Seeing how he's my brother and all'. Alec nodded hastily in reply.

'I will', said Clary in a soft voice but Alec shook his head vehemently, two gulps and Clary would be dead, she was so tiny and he didn't think Jace would appreciate it if Alec drained his girlfriend of all of her blood. However, Clary looked slightly relieved to not be Alec's snack.

'Well that just leaves me', announced Jace as he stepped towards Alec, he was smirking, as usual. 'God Alec, who knew you'd be so fussy about your food. Or did you just want to get a taste of this', Jace said, cockily gesturing to his body, proudly.

Alec rolled his eyes and gruffly pulled Jace towards him before he sank his fangs into his golden neck, not wanting any more preamble. Alec didn't want to play with his prey. _God, I'm starting to think like one of them now_, he shuddered internally. The thought was cut off, however, when Jace's amazing blood surged into his mouth tasting tangy and salty and it took all of his efforts not to get carried away and drain every last drop. He took a few gulps, really only enough to take the bite off the edges, before he abruptly pushed Jace away from him, dazed.

He shook his head to clear the dizziness before looking up to the others. They were all clearly trying to hide their shock and unease which Alec appreciated. But he couldn't help feeling like an outsider.

_I am a monster._

'Congratulations', said Jace, breaking the silence. 'You now have full access to the cool daylighter powers that come with my blood, an added extra, no cost. Stop again at the Herondale blood bank sometime', Alec shoved Jace out the door, wiping his mouth in disgust. He didn't know how Jace could joke about something so disgusting.

He actually really hadn't thought about this until Jace had mentioned it but he supposed it was a relief, being able to go out in sunlight. For some reason he felt like he hadn't seen sunlight in a long time.

'Let's go', he mumbled, smiling slightly when he felt an arm snake around his waist as they all left the apartment. 'Snack time's over'.

* * *

**So if any of you are asking 'wait, couldn't Magnus just have conjured up some blood with his super awesome warlock powers?' **

***Magnus enters* 'Why yes, yes I could but don't you agree that that was just so much more entertaining?' **

**Me: not really but I can't be assed with the whole no sunlight thing so my quick and easy solution is to make him a daylighter...**

** I don't really write Jace that well or at least I don't think I do...**

**Magnus: It doesn't matter. Jace is an asshole and you should only write about magnificent me! *Hugs***

**Me: Definitely.**

**Review please? **


	13. Helpless

**Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all of your lovely reviews, they make me so excited reading them. **

**Anyway, this chapter has some Maryse angst *ooohhh* don't ask me why cos I don't know why the hell it's in there... Maybe I feel sorry for her. Anyway, I like talking to Magnus in my ANs so...  
*****Jace enters* You're weird.  
****Me: what the hell are you doing here? Where's Magnus?  
****Jace: *shrugs* why would you want Sparkles when you can have my glorious golden body to look at?  
****Me: *sighs* That's why. Just do the disclaimer.  
****Jace: The what?  
****Me: the disclaimer, you know I don't own the MI ect...  
****Jace: How could anyone think that you actually owned the MI? No intolerably stupid mundie like you could come up with such a fabulous character as me.  
****Me: Asshole. I want Magnus back!**

**I'm not insane, not really :) Sorry for the novel like ANs :)**

* * *

**Maryse  
**

Now that she thought about it, she really shouldn't have answered the door.

She had been sitting in the study, trying to decipher the note Sebastian had left. _Erchomai_, every time she saw the foreboding black letters, winking at her menacingly from the page, she got a lurch in her stomach, a lurch that made her want to gather her children to her, to keep them safe. So that they wouldn't end up like Max. And now Alec too.

The reminder of her two missing children brought an ache to her chest and sent her reaching for the whisky bottle. Empty. _Damn. _Maryse Lightwood sniffed before she grasped the witchlight stone in her hand and decided to retire for the night. Her footsteps echoed through the cavernous hallways like gunshots in the heavy silence. But by now she was used to the silence, used to the fact that all of her children had left her and she was the only one left.

She stopped by Alec's room, gazing longingly at the forgotten remains of her son. The room was stale, bare, lifeless. Showing nothing of his shy, sweet personality. It had always been slightly utilitarian but now it was stripped bare, a sole, dull brown sweater it's only occupant, the rest now belonging to Magnus Bane's apartment. Maryse had barely even realised that her son had been gradually moving out, leaving her until all that was left was this damn sweater. It just goes to show how wrapped up in her own emotions she was. She brought it to her nose, inhaling his sweet scent, a moment of weakness. It overwhelmed her senses, bringing memories rushing back and forcing tears out of her eyes.

Choking back a sob and crushing down her emotions, she continued her isolated stroll through the empty institute.

Sometimes she really hated Magnus Bane. He had captivated her eldest son, held his heart in the palm of his glittery hand like it were worthless. And now Alec was missing. All her children were missing.

_To lose one child may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose two looks like carelessness and to lose all of them is being a downright heartless bitch_, thought Maryse with a bitter laugh.

Sometimes she really hated Clarissa Fray for stealing Jace away and bringing Simon with her who in turn caught Isabelle. All of her children were falling deep in love and she was being spat from its clutches. She hadn't seen Robert in months, she probably never would until he summoned up the courage to return and end the marriage. It had gotten to that stage. Things had never been right since Annamarie Highsmith. Bitch.

She desperately wanted to protect them from love's deadly clutches, to keep them locked away in her motherly care. She wanted to tell them that love destroys you, as it did her, but realised that they had to find out for themselves. She had to let them go.

And really, she was getting used to it. The emptiness. The gloomy corridors filled with only faint, hollow echoes of laughter and voices, bittersweet memories of better times. The endless days filled with paperwork and silence, stretching before her ominously. The dark shadows that lurked in corners. The loneliness.

She hated to admit it, but alcohol and sleep were her two best friends at the moment. They were there to send her into oblivion and fill the empty hole inside of her. Yet tonight sleep eluded her and she was dangerously close to becoming an alcoholic if she wasn't already in its deadly clutches.

She was awoken from her depressing reverie by a sharp knock on the institute door and found that she had wondered into Isabelle's room in her dreamlike state.

Swaying a little, how many drinks was that two? Three? Four? She approached the heavy oak door and swung it open to reveal two burly, imposing figures looking down on her. Something about the sharp fangs and stoic expressions alerted Maryse that they weren't here for a leisurely chat.

'We've come for your son', said a blank, mysterious voice from behind them which Maryse couldn't make out in the darkness.

_Oh God, what the hell could have happened now_? A sense of foreboding built in Maryse's chest, a familiar feeling, one she was used to. One she was good at calming and controlling.

'Which one?' she asked drily.

* * *

**Alec**

The haunting wail of a police siren echoed through the silent street. No one spoke. No one wanted to. They were all too wrapped up in their inner turmoil and problems as they made their silent procession through the streets of New York.

Jace and Clary walked in front, entangling their fingers in a sign of comfort and Isabelle trailed behind them, wrapping her arms around herself, a wistful expression on her face. Magnus and Alec brought up the rear with Magnus' arm clutching Alec tightly, silently reassuring him through his touch as only Magnus could do. Magnus did not want to waste a precious moment with _his_ Alec.

The institute loomed in front of them, a dark silhouette against the cloudy night. One sole window was lit, causing a pale, ghostly glow of witchlight to leak out onto the street.

Maryse was awake.

Alec swallowed uneasily, feeling Magnus' hand tighten around his waist in a protective gesture but he couldn't help feeling a desperate urge to leave, to escape. His body seemed to be whispering to him _outsider, outsider, outsider. _And he realised thtat his new being was reacting unfavourably to being close to holy ground. His haven was now hell.

They all made their way around to the sanctuary, silently knowing that a step inside the actual institute would end up in Alec being a pile of ash.

Jace brandished his witchlight, the white light washing over his face, illuminating it like an angelic halo; he was anything but. Smiling at Alec grimly, he heaved open the door which creaked in protest. They all padded after him hesitantly, jumping when the door shut with a loud bang, swiftly slicing through the thick cloud of silence. Jace turned around to find the light to the room and ran face first into someone.

'Oh look. My children have decided to stop by for a long overdue visit', said Maryse coldly as she held up her witchlight illuminating her face with a sallow, pale glow which heightened the tired lines and deeply etched wrinkles on her face. Alec couldn't help gasping in shock when he noticed that her cheeks had salty tear tracks, making his heart lurch painfully. Maryse never cried.

'Mum', he whispered softly, 'what happened?' he asked as he tried to take a step towards her.

Maryse couldn't help it. She flinched. Seeing the look of hurt evident on Alec's face from this sign of obvious revulsion, she sighed slightly. 'I should be asking you that', she said sharply. 'I've been informed that you are now a member of Maureen's New York clan. At first I didn't want to believe it. My son, a vampire!' she paused for a moment, collecting her breath. 'I see now it's true. You're... Undead' she said it bluntly, Maryse was not one for sugar coating.

Alec looked shocked as he stuttered 'It's not... It's not my fault I was turned into a vampire', he shook his head in disbelief. His own mother was blaming him for something he couldn't control.

'No. It's not', replied Maryse, her cold glare not softening at all. 'But it's a part of you. This is what you are now Alec', there was a resignation in her tone and she lowered her head, hiding her tears.

'Who told you all of this?' demanded Alec, struggling to comprehend what his mother was saying.

'I did', came a voice from being Maryse, reminding Magnus of when Maureen had siad those words in the hotel. Three figures approached out of the shadows in the corner of the sanctuary. Simon and two other vampires. Isabelle's heart soared when she saw Simon and she felt a desperate urge to rush towards him but was restrained by Jace who was narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

'Blood?' said Simon, offering Alec a plastic bag full of the scarlet liquid as if it were a juice box. He had a causal air about him, as if they were meeting to have a chat and discuss the weather. Alec shook his head and Simon shrugged dismissively, ripping the packet open and sucking the contents greedily. 'Fair enough. But you can't hide it forever. It's in our nature. Face it Alec, every fibre of your being is screaming to leave isn't it?' Alec couldn't help agreeing inwardly, his skin was crawling and he felt unwanted. What used to be his home was now a prison.

Simon smiled knowingly before he abruptly said 'I have informed your mother of what happened and I'm afraid your little holiday with friends is now over. The clan has noticed your absence. It will _not_ happen again. Now, if you'll excuse us...' his tone was monotonous, forced, lacking all of the usual warmth. This was not _their _Simon. He clicked his fingers and the two burly vampire guards from behind him approached Alec and grabbed his arms. Alec shrieked in protest and struggled violently as he was dragged away from his friends.

Isabelle finally broke free of Jace and tried to slap Simon on the face. She was stopped when he grabbed her wrist, crushing it in his icy, vice like grip. Isabelle couldn't remember Simon ever being this strong. He twisted her arm making her shriek in pain and bent it back towards her side. Isabelle whimpered.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you', he hissed menacingly in her ear. 'I'm a lot stronger now _lover', _hearing him say the endearing word in such a menacing way made Isabelle's skin crawl. 'Any of you fight back and you all die', he said, adressing all of them bluntly and glaring pointedly at Jace's hand which was inching towards his weapon. There was a tone in his voice indicating he wasn't joking. None of this was a joke. He forcefully pushed Isabelle away so that she tumbled to the floor ungracefully. Isabelle stood up shakily, humiliated and disgusted at Simon who was now laughing sadistically 'that was fun. We should do this again my love', he said, knowing that using an affectionate name would unnerve Isabelle. It did. Having said that, he flashed a wicked grin, his needle like incisors gleaming in the witchlight as he walked out of the room, motioning for the guards to follow. The others could only watch, helpless.

Maryse was sobbing as she watched her son get dragged away and Alec caught her eye pleadingly, begging her to do something, anything.

'Sorry Alec, it's out of my hands. You chose this.', she whispered in defeat as he was dragged screaming out of the door and into the unknown.

And no one could do anything to stop them.

* * *

**If anyone doesn't know who Annamarie Highsmith is, read CoLS properly. :) Oh and if anyone is wondering... I did use a quote from Oscar Wilde but I changed it a bit... :)**

**For some twisted reason, I kinda like evil Simon and lots of you have said that vampire Alec is sexy, I agree ;)**

**Anyway, that chapter didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to but things have been pretty hectic at the moment so I haven't had much of a chance to write. Anyway, please review :)**


	14. Lies

**Hey my loyal** **readers****! Thanks for the lovely reviews.** **I** **am feeling slightly depressed at the moment, it's currently raining like hell in Britain. Jeez, it's meant to be summer :'( Has someone up there got a grudge against us or something? And this chapter didn't come in a little flash of inspiration like the others did until about halfway through...**

**Before I bore you all to tears with the depressing events in my sad little life, I should probably do a disclaimer and actually get on with the damn story. So yeah, I don't own the story. If you mistake me for Cassandra Clare you most definitely need your head checked out.**

* * *

The heavy, wooden doors shut with a sickening thud. Alec's cries and screams reverberated around the cavernous room long after he had been dragged into the night, pounding through Magnus' head along with the image of his tortured blue eyes. He scrabbled at the door, desperately trying to rescue Alec but was prevented by Jace who gruffly shoved him away from it, knowing full well the consequences of finding Alec. Simon's threat loomed over all of them.

Tears swam in the warlock's eyes, brimming over the top like dewdrops on a leaf. His head pounded with his beloved's name as he sank to his knees in the corner of the room in despair.

_Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec._

Just when he'd believed it might turn out remotely all right, it had been snatched away by the greedy jaws of fate, cruel and unforgiving. And Alec was gone. Again. Fate, the ultimate tease, making him wildly hope and dream just for a moment and then dangling it impossibly out of his reach. Every. Damn. Time. Magnus wondered how many times one could possibly lose the one they loved. Too many, it seemed.

Meanwhile, Jace slowly turned towards Maryse. To the untrained eye he looked calm and composed despite the desperate situation but Clary could see the swirling emotions engraved in his tawny eyes and the set of his shoulders which seemed weighted down with worry. His hands were trembling slightly, a small expression of his boiling anger towards their mother.

"What the _fuck_ have you done?" he spoke slowly, menacingly; in a tone that Maryse had never been addressed in before by any of her children, even Jace.

Her lips pursed in a thin line, clearly despising this uncouth tone but it wobbled indignantly as she sobbed slightly. "There was nothing we could do for him. He is bound to Maureen's clan, a path that he has chosen willingly and keeping him here would result in us all being dead", she replied sharply, crossing her arms. "It's where he belongs. With the rest of _his kind,_" she added.

There was a chilling silence and Clary shivered, wanting nothing more than to snuggle up in a warm bed and leave the cold, unforgiving sanctuary far behind her. Unfortunately, she had a feeling she wouldn't be doing that any time soon.

Jace's voice cut through the silence swiftly "Oh really." he retorted, a mocking edge to his voice. "So he skipped out of the doors, to his new best friend Maureen? Was that what it was Mum? Because it sure as hell doesn't look like he belongs there to me. Being dragged kicking and screaming away from the ones he loves isn't really a warm, welcoming gesture is it _mother?_" Jace's voice was venomous, making the endearing word into a threat as he glared viciously at their mother and he twitched restlessly.

"An act," stated Maryse simply. "It was all lies and acting".

"That's bullshit," replied Isabelle, from somewhere behind Jace. "Did you not see him? He'd forgotten everything mum. There were scars and marks all over his arms. That takes _weeks _of pain and marking. He's been tortured and you're accusing him of being a traitor! You think he _chose_ that" she stepped towards her mother, narrowing her eyes contemptuously.

"You of all people should know the wonders of makeup Isabelle."

"I don't believe this," Issy whispered, frantically shaking her head and stepping away from her mother.

A glistening tear slid from Maryse's bottle blue eyes, an exact replica of Alec's eyes which made Magnus' heart lurch painfully. He couldn't believe Alec's mother, accusing her own son of treachery the moment he turned into a vampire when Jace had been evil and she hadn't given up on him. Next thing she'd be suggesting they stick a stake in Alec's heart and roast him on a spit.

Maryse's eyes glittered in the witchlight. "I'm sorry Isabelle. You've been fooled. That monster there, that isn't your brother. He's gone". Isabelle was shaking her head but Maryse silenced her, holding up an imperious hand. "I didn't want to have to resort to this but...see for yourselves". She began fumbling in the pocket of her suit, bringing out a crumpled piece of paper and smoothing it out. She handed it to Isabelle, her hands shaking.

Isabelle lifted her witchlight, illuminating the pale paper. The picture was blurred, obviously having been taken in a rush, but Isabelle could make out the vaguely familiar figure of a girl, sprawled on a pavement in a pool of scarlet liquid.

Blood.

The crimson blood contrasted wildly with her deathly pale skin. Isabelle could tell the girl was dead. She had seen enough death to know it's familiar presence; the blank unseeing eyes, the ghostly death pallor and, even through the picture, she could see that the spirit and life had departed the girl, leaving an empty shell in its place. Death the destroyer of pleasures. But who was it?

She could tell from the black, winding marks and tough leather gear that this was a shadow hunter. But as she examined the picture in further detail she could also see the distinguishing features, jumping out at her. The golden, blond ringlets matted with blood, the elongated ears that tapered to a point, the astonishing blue, green of her dead eyes, like a Mediterranean ocean. And she knew, without looking, that on her slender finger would be the gleam of the Penhallow ring.

Helen Blackthorn. Dead.

She gasped in shock before catching sight of a figure in the background looming above her.

They had scarlet blood smeared all over their face, the ivory fangs clearly identifying them as a vampire. The fangs displayed clearly that they had been the one to suck the life out of the poor girl, like a victory salute, and Isabelle felt sickened when she saw that the ruby, red lips were pulled into a twisted smile. The vampire was surveying his handiwork, proud of his accomplishment. She could tell it was a man and he was also tall, probably just under 6 foot. Isabelle frowned, leaning in closer to inspect the picture and see who it was.

She saw the messy mop of black hair and her heart started thundering.

And then the blue eyes.

Alec.

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**And the plot thickens... **

**This one turned out randomly. I had a completely different ending planned out for this chapter but then I suddenly started writing about Helen Balckthorn :S well that's spontanaiety for you. Now I'm wondering how it's all going to turn out in the end...:/**

** Tell me what you think, reviews make the rain go away. Well, ok, they probably won't but they would make my day a lot happier. :)**

**Oh and by the way, I have a new fic - Finding Alec Loghtwood which is AU/AH at a high school but it's slightly... Different. Take a read of it? :)**


	15. Murderer

**I was gonna do an update every Friday routine but, as you can see, it ain't Friday no more, so that's kinda gone to hell. Sorry :/**

**I can see we're not feeling the Maryse love :( I have to say... I don't either but remember, as HakariMelody pointed out in her review, Alec has committed a terrible crime, killing a shadowhunter so she kind of has a right to be pissed. That doesn't mean I like her. But... You've got to feel a bit of pity, right? Anyway, hopefully things will all fall in to place and you will all see why everyone's acting this way... But it could be a few chapters yet :/ just be patient! :)**

**I don't own them, none of us do but we give Malec more damn attention and happiness than Cassie Clare ever does :( except me who is currently being a heartless bitch and won't give poor Alec a break. Mwahaha :)**

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**Alec - following on from the end of chapter 13 where they've just left the sanctuary. **

The door closed behind them, sealing off the ones he loved from him and exiling him to the unforgiving night. He desperately struggled against the vampire that held his arms behind his back but they didn't budge, solid as a rock. There was no chance of escape.

"Struggle anymore pretty boy and I will have your puny, little neck snapped," Simon hissed in his ear, his breath reeking of rust and old blood.

Alec shivered uneasily, "If I can so easily be disposed of then why go to all the trouble of recovering me?" he shot back, hoping to sound fearless. His voice betrayed him though, wavering slightly so the retort didn't have much conviction. Simon turned towards him, his brown eyes had lost all of their chocolatey warmth and were now a pair of soulless pits, reminding Alec of Sebastian's cold eyes. But Alec caught a glimpse of something in his eyes; fear perhaps. Fear of discovery. Yes, he'd caught a nerve with his statement. Simon's death threats were empty, Alec was needed for something. What? He didn't know but for some reason, Maureen needed him alive. For now. Somehow, that thought wasn't all that comforting though. There were many other things one could do that are just as painful, without giving him the luxury of death.

As if to emphasise that point, a black cloth was yanked over his head and he was shoved brutally forward, nearly falling to the ground if the steel like arms weren't supporting him. It gave Alec the bizarre feeling of being in an action film, getting kidnapped by the bad guys. Except none of this was a film. He idly wondered if they'd put something on the rag to knock him out, making it more authentic. A second too late it seemed, as the pungent antiseptic smell of chloroform drifted towards him. He'd already inhaled several breaths and could feel himself stumbling, the world would be going black if it wasn't already from the cloth.

_Oh shit_, he thought as he felt the ground rushing up towards him, or was he falling towards the ground? All of his thoughts jumbled together in a whirlwind of emotions, overwhelming him until he thought he'd explode.

And then blissful silence.

"Pick him up," Simon ordered, barely stopping as one of the vampire thugs, James he thought his name was, picked up the dead weight, tossing him over his shoulder as if the tall shadowhunter weighed no more than a child.

They walked in silence through the New York streets, seen by no-one under the mystical cloak of darkness. Simon lead the way, weaving in and out of hidden alleyways and taking many twists and turns to make sure to obscure the route in case any shadowhunters were dumb enough to follow them.

Finally they reached their destination, an abandoned, bricked up warehouse. They had to change location often now as everyone knew about the Hotel Dumort, especially the shadow hunters. They weren't exactly on the best of terms with the shadow hunters, seeing how they'd probably broken more of the accords than Valentine himself. All part of 'The Plan'. Simon didn't know all of the parts of 'The Plan' himself. He doubted even Maureen knew everything as it wasn't really her plan either, she just played a role in it. They were all pawns on the master's chessboard, waiting for the intricate moves to be played out and to finally achieve check mate.

Simon didn't really care that he was just a pawn. He didn't care about anything really these days. He just did what he was told to do.

Several vampire guards were stationed around the warehouse, barely visible in their fully black clothes. A particularly muscular, bald headed vampire narrowed his eyes suspiciously but as Simon flashed him the vampire greeting, extending his fangs, he nodded solemnly. Standing by the guarded entrance were two much slighter figures, each clad in black as well. As he approached closer, Simon could see that it was Raphael and that new girl, what was her name again? Hillary? Hannah? Something beginning with a H definitely.

"You're late," she said drily as she lazily unhitched herself from the wall. The nerve. That struck a chord with Simon. He advanced towards her, clasping her throat in his hand. She gasped and tried to jerk her head back, her black hair tumbling into her eyes. Simon noticed with detached interest that it was dyed; her eyebrows were a very pale blond. Wannabe.

"Listen Holly or whatever your name is. You may be new here but let me tell you how it works around here. Step out of line again and I'll have your head dunked in holy water. Trust me, I've seen it and it ain't pretty. You can't breathe, you can't scream, can't think of anything but the pain as it peels away your flesh. You'd be begging me for death after 2 seconds. And no-one would hear your screams," he hissed, releasing her and throwing her towards the wall. He noticed with some satisfaction that there were two red claw shaped marks on her delicate neck.

"Comsider this a warning. Don't expect another," he said as he stalked away into the building but just as he was about to go through the door, he was sure he heard her faint voice.

"Helen. My name's Helen."

* * *

**Isabelle, following on from the end of chapter 14**

"There's more," Maryse whispered, her voice so feather faint that Jace had to strain to hear it. " Isabelle was still staring at the picture, blinking rapidly as if each time she re-opened her eyes it might be a different picture. It might not be true. It can't be true.

Lies, lies, lies. That's all she knew. But who's lies to believe? The way Alec had held her, spoken to her, convinced her that he was back. Her Alec was back. How could she not trust him? But now whenever she looked at him he'd be painted with that thin shade of doubt. Was it really him? And he would always be tainted with the red of Helen's blood. My brother, a murderer. Sure he'd killed countless demons before but this was different. Angel blood stained like no other. Especially that of your friends.

What made matters even worse was that Helen was Aline's girlfriend. Isabelle remembered standing with them in the institute when Aline had thanked Alec for giving her the courage to come out.

_"Kissing Magnus like that. It gave me the push I needed to tell my parents... To come out to them. And if I hadn't done that, I don't think, when I met Helen, I would have had the nerve to say anything."_

Without Alec, they wouldn't have got together. Without Alec, they wouldn't be parted.

Isabelle wasn't a religious person, but at that point she found herself praying to every deity that she knew of that Alec was possessed or under some kind of mind control when he committed this heinous act. She hoped that her brother would come back to her soon. But how would she know it when he did? She had believed with her whole heart that Alec was there with her just a few moments ago... But was that really him?

And what she worried about most; what would happen when Alec found out what he did? He was a good person, so selfless. If he found out that he had killed one of his own race, or even more than one... He would be destroyed, utterly destroyed. She hoped it would never come to that.

In her deep reverie, Isabelle hadn't even realised that her mother was talking, rambling really.

"All shadowhunters. Mary Carstairs, Harry Branwell, Victoria Lovelace..." it was almost as if Maryse delighted in delivering the bad news to her children.

"Shut up," shouted Isabelle, abruptly cutting off Maryse's rant. Honestly, she thought something was seriously wrong with her mother. She sounded half incoherent.  
Jace was as white as the witch light he was holding, sifting through the pictures and shaking his head, his brow furrowed.

Magnus was in a considerably worse state than all of them, collapsed on the floor in the corner. He was crying uncontrollably, his wails sounding almost animal like as he rocked back and forth. Clary had her small arms around him, comforting him by whispering soothing words in his ear. In any other situation it would have looked almost comical, the tiny girl comforting the 6 feet tall man who was bawling like a baby. But to Isabelle, it just looked heart breaking.

A silence built up around them, broken only by Magnus' sniffling and sobbing.  
"None of us want to hear how many people Alec's killed," said Isabelle sharply, her voice echoing harshly around the cavernous sanctuary. "What I want to know is why?"

* * *

**Alec - A few hours later**

The black rag was yanked roughly off Alec's head and he blinked his eyes open dazedly, getting accustomed to the light after hours in his dark oblivion. He found himself wishing for that dark oblivion as he found himself staring straight into the demented eyes of Maureen. Behind her was the rest of the clan, a sea of white faces and soot black hair. He noticed that Maureen had also dyed her hair the stereotypical black, one thing Alec didn't have to do, he already fit right in. He shivered at this thought whilst also noticing that Maureen had covered the conventional grey-blue colour of her eyes with a vivid ruby red.

"Fan of Twilight?" he asked in an attempt at nonchalance.

Maureen smiled, a smile as sweet as candy-floss soaked in arsenic.

"You don't like my new look?" she asked, twirling around. She was wearing a floaty white dress which billowed around her down to her knees. She looked angelic in her spotless white dress. The epitome of purity. If it weren't for the scarlet splatters running down the length of it which offset the innocence of it all.

Alec shuddered, he was already tired of playing Maureen's creepy little game. "What do you want Maureen? Why am I here?" he asked, exasperation creeping into his voice to join the apprehension.

She narrowed her eyes but retained her bitter sweet grin. "Are you not glad to be home Alec?" she asked "Amongst your family," she gestured to the rest of the vampires who also eerily grinned sardonically in unison, "where you truly belong." She finished, smiling warmly at the rest of the 'family'.

Alec was shivering but it had nothing to do with the cold, damp surroundings. They were in some deserted warehouse by the looks of it. The room stretched on endlessly it seemed, Alec couldn't see the walls, just black shadows. In one corner lay a pile of bones and other assorted body parts, a shrivelled up hand, a twisted face, sucked of all the life.

Anger boiled up inside of Alec. "I'll never belong with you," he spat back, struggling against the ties that held his wrists to the chair. He hadn't even noticed they were there before, too caught up in the trauma of the whole situation.

Maureen just looked at him, an unreadable expression on her face. "You won't be saying that in a few minutes," she said, a knowing smile on her lips. "That filthy warlock's blood may have tampered with everything for a little while. He could have ruined the entire plan," slight rage was creeping into her voice, like a storm gradually picking up speed and intensity. "But, never mind. The effects should wear off shortly and my little Alec will be back," her voice was just as suddenly light and breezy again, her smile fixed back in place. Revulsion crawled in Alec at the though of any part of him belonging to Maureen.

But he was now also thoroughly confused. What did Magnus' blood have to do with anything? When had he...? What disconcerted him more was the edges of his vision tinging scarlet. He was literally seeing red.

Suddenly, the room was spinning before him, his vision becoming murky and some of the vampires merged so that it looked like they had two heads. They were spinning before him, an ocean of white. Alec shook his head, trying to clear the sudden dizziness. Was he being knocked out again? He sniffed but couldn't smell any chemicals. "What?..." he began dazedly but found the thought cut off. What was he going to ask again? His thoughts were getting blurry, his head lolling to the side. He couldn't get his brain to think, to power through the thick fog that had clouded his mind. But why bother? Why does he need to think?

"How does it feel Alec... To have the blood of your own race staining your hands? To be a murderer?" Maureen whispered, her cold breath tickling his ear.

And as Alec looked down, he noticed with alarm that it was true. His hands were stained with blood, his shirt saturated in the scarlet liquid. The room was suddenly darker, the crowd of vampires gone along with . He was alone. He noticed that streams of blood lay pooling at his feet, glistening ruby red.

But suddenly Alec realised he wasn't alone, not at all. In front of him was the most horrific site he had ever laid eyes on. There before him lay mounds of bodies, piled ceiling high and filling the gigantic warehouse, an impressive feat. Tens, hundreds, possibly even thousands of corpses were stacked in front of him. He could tell they were dead from the ghostly pallor and sallow, rotten flesh. Their skin was bone dry and wrinkled, sucked of all the blood so that they resembled shrivelled up raisins. They also all had puncture marks at their throats, right on the pulse. And Alec knew, somehow, that his teeth had made those marks. He was the murderer. And these were his victims.

After absorbing some of the shock and utter terror at the scene, he observed that they all had the thick, cording black marks. Shadowhunters. All of them. He had single handedly wiped out his own race.

But what made Alec finally break down and cry, were the bodies closest to him. All of his family lay before him, gazing up at him with their unseeing eyes. Alec could make out Jace, somehow looking even more angelic in a tragic way with his golden hair matted to his head in coppery tinged tangles. But his golden eyes were dull, lacking the warmth and vitality that Alec was accustomed to seeing. Clary lay next to him, her unmoving hand clasped in his. Even in death they were not parted. She was so small, so fragile. Alec could remember the feel of her tiny neck snapping in his hands as easily as a match stick.

His parents lay side by side, their Lightwood pride demolished. His mother's piercing blue eyes were faded and she looked hundreds of years old, etched with lines. His father held a small boy in his arms. Max, looking for all the world like he was sleeping peacefully, his glasses smashed up against his nose. It made Alec wish for death too, knowing he'd caused this utter devastation made the guilt overwhelm him, suffocating him until he had to look away.

He caught a glimpse of the worst site of all though, making him want to claw his own eyes out. The image would always be imprinted in his mind though, it was not something you can un-see. His own sister lying crumpled on the floor. Her body looked smaller in death. She lay there, broken, her black hair lay fanned around her face, limp and lifeless. Her eyes were pools of chocolate, brimming full of tears that hadn't had the chance to fall; she'd been dead before they'd even overflowed. Alec had made sure of that. Her porcelain skin seemed to shine in the darkness, highlighted against the backdrop of her scarlet blood.

And Alec wasn't sure, maybe it was just his imagination, but he thought he saw her delicate lips moving soundlessly, repeating the same word again and again.

_Murderer_.

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**I don't know what happened with that chapter. :S It took a very dark turn at the end there which probably had something to do with the fact that I was writing it at midnight... :/ Simon's also developed more of a temper, I dunno where that came from but I'm sorry if confused anyone with the different parts :/ Right I need to stop apologising.**

**Review please? And check out my other story? ;)**


	16. Blood is everything

**So, I was writing this and then suddenly I thought "you know this is really creepy and scary," and then I started thinking "where the hell am I going with this?" and that's when like a huge MOUNTAIN of writer's block hit me. But then I got some inspiration and I got something down at least... But I would really appreciate reviews to help me even if they just criticise the whole story. :) Thank you to all these who have reviewed so far. XD**

**To the reviewer who said that nothing marks vampire skin who I can't reply to by PM: I am aware of that, I was actually wondering if anyone would notice it. It was intentional. You should find out in this chapter...**

**Don't own it, never have and never will.**

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_"None of us want to hear how many people Alec's killed," said Isabelle sharply, her voice echoing harshly around the cavernous sanctuary. "What I want to know is why?"_

Strangely enough it was Magnus that spoke up, his voice hoarse and scratchy from all the crying, "Alec wouldn't do that," he said firmly and Isabelle smiled slightly despite the situation. The trust and faith in Magnus' voice shone through, ridding Isabelle of any doubt of her brother. Alec, who would throw himself in front of any peril for his family. Alec, who wore raggedy sweaters and didn't give a rat's ass about fashion, who loved you for your personality. Shy, closed off Alec who had lived 18 years of his life repressed and scared to be suddenly freed and thrust into yet another perilous situation. Sweet, loyal Alec who didn't deserve any second of her doubt. No, her brother did not do this unspeakable act. Or at least, not willingly.

"Then who do you suppose did Warlock Bane?" asked Maryse, shattering Isabelle's heartfelt reverie. "Does this not prove that it is my son?" she held the picture up again, waving it in Magnus face.

"I'm not suggesting it isn't Alec in the picture. I'm suggesting that he didn't do this willingly, that he was forced or controlled," replied Magnus patiently.

Isabelle, however, was growing quickly impatient with her mother and quickly told her so. "If you believe he's a murderer then why did you let him go?" she asked, hostility creeping into her voice. There was something...off about their mother. But Isabelle shook it off, she had other things to worry about.

"I didn't have any back-up. Believe me, I'd have called the clave but there was no way that they would get here in time," Maryse replied icily. Isabelle was shocked at her mother's aggression towards her only remaining blood son, shocked at how easily she could betray them. Maryse clearly knew that if the clave found Alec, they wouldn't hesitate to execute him.

It was why Isabelle had to find Alec before they did. And fast.

"I think you should leave now mother, seeing how you're going to be of no use to us," Isabelle snapped, flicking her hand towards the door.

Maryse shook her head angrily but progressed to the door anyway. Before she left though, she sighed, whispering softly, "I let him go because I still love him and I couldn't bear to be the one to cause the end of another son's life, even if it is indirectly. Don't kid yourself Isabelle; if the clave found Alec they wouldn't hesitate to kill him. So I wouldn't waste your efforts Isabelle, trying to redeem him.

"Alec's gone, lost forever. Let us just hope the clave is merciful and that his death is swift".

And on that last morbid note, Maryse left.

Isabelle was shocked at the raw emotion in her mother's voice; the love, the heartbreak, the despair but, mostly, the utter hopelessness.

"I guess we're not getting any help from the clave then," came Clary's small voice. Isabelle looked around the room to see the hopelessness etched on all their faces. Magnus, although no longer crying, was staring down at his hands, slumped against the wall with Clary also showing an expression of defeat next to him. Truth be told, they looked a rather pathetic and forlorn sight and Isabelle was under no illusion that she didn't look the same.

Jace, however, was shaking with rage, a steel glint in his eye. "Think, think, think," he was muttering under his breath.

"Jace?" asked Isabelle, slightly worried for her friend when he started digging his nails into his skin and clenched his eyes.

"I will not let my brother die to a member of his own race!" Jace exclaimed, his voice trembling with rage. "He doesn't deserve a traitor's death".

"That's all fine Jace but how are we going to prove that Alec didn't do it willingly? The only evidence we have to go on are a couple of marks from extensive torture. And it's not like we can easily get to Alec. I mean he's..."

Isabelle was cut off though by Jace shouting, "that's it!" he yelled, startling everyone out of their depressed reverie. "We've been so stupid!" he said and, seeing Isabelle's blank look, continued, "Izzy, don't you see? Vampire skin doesn't mark. It heals extremely fast so there was no way that it could have been torture. It's something else, some curse or other," Jace broke off as he heard something coming from the other side of the room.

Clapping. Extremely slow, sarcastic clapping; getting closer and closer.

They all shot up, whipping out their seraph blades in unison and preparing themselves in a battle stance. Magnus' fingers began to glow ominously, illuminating the face of the applauder as they slowly approached.

Sebastian.

Clary gasped, too shocked and frightened to move. She stood rigid, watching as Jace lunged for his throat immediately and Isabelle aimed straight for the heart, but found themselves stumbling, going through Sebastian as if he was made of air.

"It's a hologram," sighed Jace, scowling as Sebastian clutched his stomach in fits of laughter. Isabelle screamed in frustration, sheathing her seraph blade angrily.

"Honestly, I thought your brother and that other dimwitted vampire were stupid but you guys make them look like Einstein," Sebastian gasped in between fits of laughter that harshly reverberated around the cavernous room.

"What the fuck are you doing here you bastard? And when have you been near my brother and Simon?" Isabelle shrieked wildly. "If you've put one dirty finger on them..."her threat lingered in the air. Everyone knew that Isabelle would not hesitate to rip out Sebastian's heart. She had more than proven that earlier.

She'd never felt this way, never had so much hate boiling through her.

The blood was pounding through her head, the rage literally rolling off her. She'd vowed that when she next saw Sebastian she would lunge on sight, not hesitating to kill him. But now she didn't even have that luxury. There he was, standing there with an ugly smirk distorting his features. And she couldn't kill him, couldn't inflict on him the hellish pain he'd made her family feel because the fucking coward was taunting them by fucking hologram.

Frustration was an understatement for how Isabelle was feeling. She would not be satisfied until she felt Sebastian's life force seeping through her fingers, until she could stab her knife in his chest and twist the blade. She shook her head, ridding herself of these disturbing thoughts.

Isabelle had become scared of herself, scared of the blood thirsty monster that lurked underneath her skin, scared of what she was becoming. She shivered in revulsion.

Seeing Isabelle so visibly distressed and shaking, Sebastian's horrific sneer just got wider as Magnus wrapped his arms around her whispering soothing words like "he's not worth it," in her ear. Bullshit. Magnus obviously didn't feel the same longing that she did, the itching for his blood.

"Calm your pets," Sebastian quipped, a sardonic leer plastered on his lips.

"Sebastian, we're not in the mood for your games. So finish your pathetic gloating and tell us what you're doing here," Clary snapped, impatience evident in the quick tone of her voice.

"You didn't think that the feeble thirteen year old newborn envisioned this grand plan did you?" he asked incredulously. Seeing the blank looks, he raised his eyebrows but continued, "In short, I came here to bask in the glory of my destruction dearest sister," Sebastian replied, the self righteous grin never leaving his face.

Clary's hands were clenched in fists, the skin straining over the knuckles and turning it white. Jace reached over and unfurled them, revealing crescents and a small trickle of blood. He lookedworriedly into her eyes, trying to comfort her silently.

"No matter how many times you call me that, you'll never be a brother of mine. Shared blood or not," Clary said, her voice trembling slightly.

"You might want to rethink that," Sebastian responded, a knowing glint in his eyes which made made Clary feel like a little child, unaware of the secrets of the world.

"Blood is everything," he whispered.

Clary noticed that the image was dissipating and fading slightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily but found herself addressing empty air.

Sebastian was gone.

Both Clary and Isabelle screamed out of frustration in unison. Magnus, however, was muttering to himself, his eyes widened in sudden realisation.

"What is it?" asked Jace.

"Blood," Magnus simply replied, confusing Jace even more. "That's how they're doing it." At Jace's blank expression, Magnus sighed.

"Surely you know that magical blood has special properties?" Jace shook his head. They all circled around Magnus, desperate to know what was so obvious.

"Honestly!" exclaimed Magnus, his flippant tone sounding odd in the desperate situation. "Do they teach you shadowhunters nothing these days?" Jace just rolled his eyes impatiently, gesturing for Magnus to cut to the chase. He wasn't in the mood for Magnus to lecture them in his patronising voice.

"As I was saying, each type of blood has different properties, inducing different reactions. Vampire blood obviously causes the person to transform into a vampire but when a vampire drinks another magical creature's blood, it can have some...interesting effects. For example, faerie blood is known to induce powerful hallucinations, sometimes wonderful fantasies and at other times horrific nightmares. If a small incantation, which involves marking the skin, is whispered beforehand, the visions can be manipulated and controlled by that person. They can make the person see what they want them to see. The hallucination is so powerful it feel entirely real to the victim, they will believe it no matter how strong willed they are. In short, in the wrong hands it can be deadly," Magnus finished.

Jace's brow was scrunched up in confusion, his brain trying to connect the snippets of information. "Those markings on Alec's arms they weren't crosses, they were..."

"Glamoured to look like crosses," inserted Magnus, kneading his forehead tiredly. He looked absolutely drained of the vitality that he usually oozed, although a glint was twinkling in his eyes. Could that be... Hope?

"What about other magical creatures? Do they also have magical effects on vampires?" asked Clary.

"Well, there's warlock blood. No-one really knows quite what it does but it is obviously more powerful depending on the magical capabilities of the warlock. It may also have more effect if the particular warlock is close to the person..."

"So, do you think when Alec drank your blood, it might have wiped his memory or at least reduced the effects of whatever it was Maureen did to him?" asked Isabelle.

"Possibly," agreed Magnus but he sighed impatiently. "But there's still something we're missing. There must be something else Maureen did to Alec to make him loyal to her and to get him to... Murder all of those people," he choked slightly on the word 'murder', not wanting to accept that his blue eyed, innocent boyfriend could do such a thing. "This is deep, dark stuff. No-one's used faerie blood in this way in centuries and there's a reason for that. Sure, some vampires use it like drugs. They get high, live their fantasies. In careful, controlled amounts. But rarely is it used for torture... Like this."

There must have been something in his tone because Isabelle felt shivers run through her. "Why not?" she asked tentatively.

"Use too much and it can drive you insane. After 4 or 5 doses, it usually kills you. And if it doesn't... They usually kill themselves. And that's with the nice fantasies."

* * *

**That was a bit of a lame ending but I hope that chapter clarified some things for you... I tried to get some angst into it but it was mainly dialogue even though I'm more of a description person... Sorry about that.**

**The magical blood is completely made up. I don't know if CC has said in her books anything about it but for the sake of this story, that's how it works.**

**By the way guys, do you think this story needs to be an M? Not for lemons but because of its... Creepiness and violence?**

**Please review, they make my day and I want to get better :) **


	17. Growing up

**This is a result of having a big lack of inspiration, eating a load of chocolate and then seeing what comes out. :/ Strangely enough, despite being a filler chapter kind of thing, it is the longest chapter yet. I just needed to get them out of the bloody sanctuary though so there is a 3 day time jump from the last chapter...I'm not sure about it since it feels a little...spacey and it has an awful lot of Maureen in it. But, as you can see, here it is. *smlies sheepishly***

**I don't own any of the characters as we have all pretty well established by now...**

**Three days later, Maureen**

"It's not working," hissed Maureen, gesturing wildly with her arms to the motionless figure strapped to the steel table. "He's not offering up his obedience like he did last time."

Sebastian inspected the victim. His eyes glinted, a small smirk lifting the edges of his lips. Alexander Lightwood, once a brave shadow hunter, now completely at his mercy. He revelled in the way he had ripped through the Lightwood's, tearing the noble family apart. First the youngest, what was his name - Mark? Then the middle, although he preferred not to think that he got away, and now the eldest. The other Lightwood, Isabelle he recalled her name was, had better watch out. He was aiming to destroy every child of Maryse and Robert Lightwood, the two traitors that had been let off lightly by the clave, that had betrayed his father. Yes, he would make them pay, as he would make all of the shadowhunters pay for thinking they were so high and mighty.

He was building an army and it was strong, almost outnumbering the shadowhunters. Almost. And better yet they didn't know about it, they thought the dim witted 13 year old was messing around with vampire law. They never suspected it was all part of his plan, part of his army. It wasn't time for the battle yet...but he could sense it coming. The epic battle to end all battles. The battle that would decide once and for all who lives and dies. And he would do everything in his power to win. His eyes glinted dangerously at the thought of it. Anything.

However, he couldn't win the battle without soldiers. As he took in the distressing state of the Lightwood boy, he frowned slightly. The boy's expression was sallow, looking an almost sickly yellow in the low light. His eyes were closed, buried beneath the sagging weight of deep purple bags. His face was gaunt as was the rest of his body, his bones protruding through his skin. Skin and bones. That was all that was left of him. Gashes ran up and down his arms, back and chest, not yet healed from the last beating which looked as if it had been relatively recent considering his vampire skin hadn't yet healed it.

Sebastian, alarmed at the deteriorated state of Alec, yanked Maureen by the collar, glaring venomously at the small girl. "What did you do?" he yelled, "I told you to get him to give obedience, not nearly kill him."

Maureen whimpered, her pathetic ruby red eyes widening in fear. She glanced around her desperately to see if there were any guards around her. No, she was alone. Alone with the devil she had made a deal with to be head vampire. _It was worth it_, she told herself.

Sebastian moved his grip to her neck, squeezing slightly. Maureen gasped "I just...did the, the same as last time. Like, like you asked," she wheezed, panting slightly. Sebastian relaxed his grip slightly.

"Then why does he look like this?" he asked, indicating Alec's awful condition.

"I...I don't know," whispered Maureen. "Last time the combination of physical torture and hallucinations completely broke him and we managed to get him to pledge his obedience. Although he was physiologically affected, his body healed normally, like a vampire. But this time...he's not healing. After the last hallucination, he blacked out, started muttering to himself when he was in his cell," Maureen circled her finger around her head in a gesture for 'crazy', "He was a bit...disturbed. So we switched to torture," she said it blankly, as if she were discussing how to find the circumference of a circle.

Sebastian nodded, finally releasing her neck and walked over to Alec, his hands behind his back. "When was the last...torture session?" he asked, flicking his finger at Alec's eyelids to check for a response. Nothing. If it weren't for the fact that Alec was a vampire, anyone would have presumed Alec dead by now, attributed to by the fact that his chest didn't rise or fall and his deathly pallor.

"Well, that's the thing. There was only one," Maureen answered.

Sebastian's head shot up, his head turning to scrutinise the vampire "and when was that?" he asked, slightly apprehensive for the answer. Alec was clearly weakening if he was like this after only one session.

"3 days ago."

"So he's not healing at all?" Sebastian asked, incredulous, shining a light into Alec's eyes dull blue eyes. Nothing. This was not good. It was as if the boy had...given up. Or he was hiding. Sebastian narrowed his eyes. He was getting a little irritated now and started to slap Alec roughly on the cheek in the hopes of getting him to wake up.

"Worse than that," Maureen bit her lip nervously, unsure of how Sebastian would react. He looked slightly angry.

"He's not responded since." Sebastian whipped his head round, black eyes like two lumps of burning coals.

"Well, we'll just have to make him respond won't we?" he said, grabbing 3 pipettes of holy water. He looked like he was going to squirt it straight in the...

"Careful of the..." Maureen began.

Eyes.

_No, he's not slightly angry_, Maureen thought.

_He's pissed._

* * *

**Alec**

He was floating. Literally. Along the canals of Idris to be precise, in a small wooden boat. He lay back on his hands, leaning his head back whilst sighing in content.

The city was beautiful at night. In the distance, Alec could see the tall shimmery spires, the light glinting against them and producing a kaleidoscope of colours. In fact, everything was a riot of colour and dazzling lights. The honey coloured houses were strewn with multicoloured banners and blue and gold bunting - the colours of Idris. Fairy lights were sprinkled across the houses and over the little stone bridges, shining against the black backdrop of night.

Yet the true beauty lay in the man, or 'gondolier' as he preferred to be called, before him. The gondolier who stood at the prow of the boat and was effortlessly guiding the vessel through the narrow, twisty waters of Idris. The only sounds were the gentle lap of the water rippling at the bottom of the boat and the smooth swish of the oar cutting through the glossy black water. Alec titled his head, trying to catch a glimpse of the tight leather trousers that accentuated his long spidery legs and absolutely divine ass. The owner of said ass looked back at Alec, a knowing smile on his face lighting up his earthy green and golden eyes in amusement. Caught in the act. Alec blushed profusely but smiled, taking in the enormous black coat that swirled around the man and the extravagant gondolier hat with fond memories of Venice.

"Enjoying the ride, my love?" Magnus asked, steering them down Princewater street.

Alec sighed contentedly, "Hhhmmm, yes you are a surprisingly smooth gondolier," he replied, his eyes drifting towards the blue and gold of the Penhallow's house where he had spent many happy memories. A light shone in the window that he knew was Isabelle's, the black silhouette of his sister waving to him. He waved back serenely as did Magnus.

"I told you! I'm an expert," he exclaimed petulantly, "you should have let me steer the boat in Venice," he added. Unfortunately he said it just as the boat knocked into the bank, making him wobble unsteadily.

Alec laughed, "That's why I didn't," he said, reaching out a foot to push them off from the bank that they had hit. He could make out the form of his sister through the window, her body shaking with laughter at the ridiculous display. "Magnus, I was not going to let you steer the boat. You could have upset the highly skilled real gondolier," Magnus huffed indignantly. "And especially not when there were several other boats and civilians nearby in mortal danger of your coordination," he added, then muttering, "Or lack thereof." Magnus shot him a playfully wounded look at which Alec blew a kiss. The warlock's expression softened immediately.

Alec looked down at the water which was a glossy, inky black, glinting with shards of multicoloured lights. He gazed, mesmerised, thinking how nice it would be to plunge himself in the enticing, familiar waters, to submerge himself in the colours until he shone in rainbows too.

He leaned down, crouching at the edge of the boat and tentatively dipped a finger in the water. But when he came into contact with the enticing water, it burned like acid, eating away at his finger. Shrieking, he fell back into the boat, clutching his hand.

That was when everything changed.

As Alec looked around in horror he saw the once jovial decorations caught aflame, quickly spreading the contagious fire to the buildings. Alec stood up in the middle of the boat, looking around him in terror at the scene of chaos and destruction.

Everything was burning.

He saw the big blue house with gold trim erupt in the dancing orange flames, engulfed in the fire, taking his fond recollections and beloved family members with it.

"Isabelle!" he yelled in horror, catching sight of the frantic figure, lit up from the flames briefly before they turned a corner and she was gone. Magnus was steering the boat with more intensity now, desperately trying to escape the chaotic flames that were engulfing the streets around them.

Alec saw with despair that this whole street was aflame too. He saw all the houses on the streets burning, their windows alight with flames and silhouetting the helpless figures inside. The black smoke drifted up from the flames, merging with the night air and spreading it's lingering presence towards Alec. He coughed when it invaded his body, filling his lungs with its dark, poisonous presence.

Then he heard them: screams and shrieks of agony of ear splitting intensity punctured the air, most belonging to women or small children . Alec placed his hands over his ears, trying desperately to drown out the horrific sounds of his race dying over the crackling flames. But he found he couldn't escape death's presence for long. The smell of rotting flesh drifted into his nostrils and he choked in disgust, gagging on the horrible taste.  
The flames now engulfed everything around him but the black river that his little boat was lying on. Alec curled into a ball, thinking that there was no escape and they would have to wait until the flames died out, when the flames started dancing across the water, towards him.

"Jump!" whispered a voice. "Jump into the water!" He realised with a start that it was Magnus' voice, urging him to do it and he turned to face him. Instead of meeting the comforting green eyes of his lover though, he was confronted with the sight of two soulless black pits, completely out of place on the warm face. He gasped, watching in horror as Magnus' face grotesquely morphed before his very eyes to be replaced with Sebastian's.

"Do it! Jump!" he hissed.

Alec looked dubiously at the depths of the water, remembering how it had burned his skin. _But if Magnus has said to do it..._ The flames were now surrounding him, leaving just a strip of slick black water in front of him. The screams were getting louder and louder, chasing the thoughts out of his head. His one sole thought was that amongst those screams would be those of his sister and his family. He would do anything to make them stop.

Alec took in a deep lungful of the rotten air, immediately regretting it when he started coughing, before moving to the edge of the boat. He stretched his arms above his head, angled his body and dove into the black oblivion of the water.

* * *

**Maureen**

Maureen and Sebastian watched Alec intently. He had been twitching and thrashing for the past 10 minutes, his face twisted in agony.

"Did you give him another dose?" asked Maureen, worriedly dabbing his forehead.

"Of course I didn't. He's doing this all on his own," Sebastian snapped. "Not getting too attached there are we?" he said, gesturing to the cloth in her hand.

Maureen snarled, hissing something about a fever and tossing Alec a look of loathing for good measure before stepping back slightly. They watched Alec for a few minutes, listening to the garbled speech he was muttering. Suddenly, the boys eye's starting fluttering and he started breathing erratically as if choking or drowning.

"He's waking!" Maureen cried.

"Shut up!" barked Sebastian as he leaned closer to Alec. Maureen eyed him contemptuously.

* * *

**Alec**

A cold hand slapped his cheek, chilling his burning fever. Alec groggily tried to open his eyes but it felt as if his eyelids had been sewn shut. He struggled desperately against them. He needed to see, needed to make sure that the world wasn't burning.

After a few seconds of fruitless effort he gave up though. He wasn't going to see the world anytime soon it seemed and so he rested his head against the cold surface beneath him in defeat. Was it his imagination or were there hushed voices around him? He couldn't be sure, nothing seemed real anymore. Reality was fantasy and fantasy was reality. He couldn't tell dreams from nightmares, good from evil or his head from his mind. _Wait, are they different things or not? _His brief moments of awareness were getting briefer and briefer and already Alec felt his resolve to stay awake dissolving. He slowly felt himself drifting back into the clutches of his insanity.

_Who really gives a shit if the world's burning?_ Was his last thought.

_I don't. Not anymore._

* * *

**Maureen**

"Sebastian," she whispered, "he can't open his eyes." Her eyes were wide with fear and disgust, looking down with slight pity at the disaster that lay before her. Alec's eyelids were red raw, the skin dissolved with the holy water. _No wonder_, she thought, pondering for a moment if any permanent harm had been done before shrugging it off. It was just one of many serious injuries. The boy was truly broken. And why should she care?

She was only sad it wasn't her plan but Sebastian's.

He had found her after he lost another battle against the shadowhunters, skulking in the tunnels. That was a very dark period of her life. She had never felt such hunger, such desperation and need for blood until the animal instincts took over and every fibre of her being was attuned to survival. Food was scarce and she often found that she simply wasn't strong enough to overpower her victims, simply because of her size and age. As she began feeding less and less, she felt herself growing weaker.

Soon that was her only goal in life: to live. _That's what it's like to be on the brink of death_, she thought with a shudder. She had seen it, seen the cold, nothingness that was death stretched endlessly before her and vowed never to return. It only made hervalue her immortality even more since she had been so close to losing it.

When she had found Camille it had been a stroke of luck. She had even had the advantage of a surprise attack. At the time she hadn't thought it had been suspicious, the fact that the wise and powerful vampire gave in so easily, she had just lapped up the blood greedily, consumed wholly by her lust for it. But now Maureen suspected Sebastian had weakened her before she got there.

Either way, it was Sebastian's fault that Alec was a vampire. Somehow, he knew that Alec was going to be there and he had convinced her, with little persuasion, to attack him. He even convinced Maureen to feed Alec her blood once he had blacked out, to ensure his transformation into a vampire. After that, he convinced her to work with him by gentle encouragement, planting dreams of royalty and grandeur in her head. And she had agreed, wondering how it could benefit him but going along with his plan anyway. She didn't really care about the plan, even though it seemed to be working so far. She just wanted to be head vampire, to finally be special. To finally be acknowledged in her rightful place.

_"You'll be Queen of the vampires, living in the lap of luxury."_

And she was.

Yet she couldn't help but feel that sliver of doubt lodge in her heart. She couldn't help but feel slightly wary of Sebastian as she noticed that she did all the dirty work. She was the one torturing the shadowhunters when they turned into vampires until they broke and pledged obedience. And Sebastian did nothing. _I am the head vampire_, she told herself, _not him_. Yet she couldn't help but feel that she was being replaced, that she was second in command and Sebastian was first. He seemed to be calling the shots recently. And she didn't like it. Not one bit.

_I am the head vampire, I am the head vampire, I am the head vampire. Not him._

"Bring the vampire." Sebastian ordered absentmindedly as he continued to stare intently at his experiment. A flash of rage surged through her so she gritted her teeth.

"Which one?" asked Maureen sarcastically, a sneer lifting her lips. It didn't reach her red eyes.

Sebastian shot her a withering glance. "The one you're hopelessly pining over," he replied, smiling in superiority when he saw her wounded expression. "And that's which one _my Lord_," he added.

"Yes my Lord," Maureen spat, fuming as she hunched her shoulders and flounced out of the room to find one of the guards.

"Fetch Simon," she commanded imperiously, revelling in the power she exerted. She could get used to this, being the queen of the New York clan. Yet it was bound with the bitter loyalty she paid to Sebastian in return, somewhat souring it._ I am the head vampire, not him_. It was starting to lose its conviction.

* * *

"You're not going to torture him are you?" she asked Sebastian worriedly. Sebastian shook his head irritably and she sighed in relief just as Simon emerged into the room. She sucked in a breath at the sight of him. Beautiful. He looked absolutely beautiful with his creamy, unblemished skin underneath unruly brown hair. She could see the ridges of rather well defined muscles underneath the tight T-shirt he was wearing and sighed, slinking over to him.

"Simon, my love," she whispered, placing a kiss to his cheek and trying to wrap her arms around him. Try being the operative word as he brushed her off in annoyance, stalking over to Sebastian. Maureen bit back the tears that accompanied the bitter taste of rejection, sniffing. It seemed that even in this drugged and mindless state Simon didn't want her. Her eyes narrowed in contempt but she walked over to the two to join in the conversation on what to do next.

"...Not responding... New treatment...Blood," she heard the fragmented whispers as she came nearer.

"Why are we whispering?" she asked, sticking her head in between them.

Both Simon and Sebastian glared at her and instantly stopped talking. Sebastian had a knowing glint in his eye as he turned towards her.

"Leave Maureen," he commanded bluntly.

Maureen spluttered, replying indignantly, "I'm just as much a part of this plan as you are!"

Sebastian laughed harshly and without humour, she had never understood why people laughed when it wasn't funny. "You didn't actually believe you had any part in this did you?" he said, still chuckling. Maureen frowned confusedly as he continued, "Oh you stupid girl! Maureen, you were just a figurehead. After all, to be head vampire you need to _be_ a vampire. It just so happened to be convenient to me that you were there. Young, naive and stupid. I knew exactly what to say to get you to trust me and you lapped it up like the greedy little bitch you are. So I gave you a simple task - to monitor the torture and you screw it up". Sebastian's voice was now cold and menacing as he studied his nails in a nonchalant way.

Eventually he hissed, "I don't give second chances," and leaned his face closer to the frightened vampire. She stared in to his callous black eyes, red eyes widening in fear as his cold hand clamped around her tiny wrist.

"And sadly you've outworn your stay. But I'm going to be nice and not kill you." he whispered, "for now."

"Now. Get. Out," he spat in her face, shoving her wrist away from him. Maureen didn't need to be told three times. She valued her life more than anything else. _What more can you value than life?_ She wondered idly for a moment before the torrent of emotions hit her.

Wiping the tears and the spit from her face, she scurried away, sure that if she was still human, her heart would pounding in her ribs. As it was, it lay dead and dormant in her chest and she kept running, out of the room, out of the warehouse and into the night.

Her tears nearly blinded her as she realised with a sob that she'd been outsmarted. Sebastian had known exactly what to say to her, playing her like the fool she was. He had only needed her to get the head vampire position, to build up his stupid army. She continued to sprint through the streets of New York, only stopping when she came to a dead end of an abandoned alley, littered with rubbish.

She screamed in frustration. At everything. At nothing. Nothing. She had nothing, had lost everything. Angrily, she removed her red contacts, a symbol of her naivety, throwing them to the ground and stamping on them furiously. They shattered into thousands of pieces, just like her heart.

She curled into a ball, sobbing at the cruel unfairness of it all, sobbing at the heartbreak, the rejection and the fear, wondering what the hell to do next.

And it was then, in that cold, dark alleyway, that Maureen finally realised she wasn't special.

She never had been.

She never would be.

She was just a naive and weak thirteen year old girl. She wasn't meant for royalty or love, she was meant for normality and heart break. She was...average. Just an average, crazy girl who had been thrust into an extraordinary situation. And she'd thought so idiotically that she had power. She had foolishly begun meddling in politics and power plays that she didn't understand. And what was the result of that? Nothing. She had lost everything. But as she cried, she realised something.

Had she really lost everything?

Having a sudden flash of inspiration, she began sprinting back through the streets of New York, somehow instinctively knowing where to go. The adrenalin pounded through her as she watched the buildings whir past her in a blur of brown and grey.

In a way Maureen finally grew up that night. She'd very quickly learned that nothing in life comes for free. Everything has a price.

And for royalty, the price is high. She had made a deal with the devil, the demon boy and had lost. Badly. She would never make that mistake again.

Yet she hated the man that had taught her that lesson with a burning passion. She hated him for deceiving her so cruelly, for shattering her naivety with one pluck of his finger. She hated Simon Lewis for rejecting her heart like it were nothing. She hated both of them for playing her and treating her like a child, leaving her empty and worthless.

And it was that hate that drove her through the streets of New York, planting the bitter seed of revenge in her heart. It was hate that brought her to the looming building in front of her. It was hate that forced her finger towards the brass buzzer, quickly making sure that she had the right name:

Bane.

* * *

**Still not convinced about that chapter...**

**Anyway, I think there's gonna be a lot of revelations in the next chapter so stay tuned... And there's definitely a lot of action coming up in the next few chapters. :O**

**I would love some reviews... They give me motivation. I'm aiming for 100 by the end of the story so if you guys could help me out that would be absolutely amazing. :)**


	18. We're all mad here

**I apologise in advance for this chapter. The meeting with Maureen was going to be one big chapter but I've split it into two, probably three chapters... Not because of length but because I haven't written the other bits yet, I haven't had a chance. Blame the sun which has decided to make a long overdue appearance in Great Britain and the Olympics which has finally got me hooked. Go Team GB! Yeah, it's really my fault...:/ Anyway, the revelations will come in the next chapter, I pinky promise. You can't break a pinky promise! And I've already written the end. It's got a lot of action :O That was my expression when I was writing it. It's a little weird...not the end but that I've written the end but not the bits in between. :) I'm starting to confuse myself, let's get on with the disclaimer...**

**I don't own the title of this chapter, that's from Alice in Wonderland and I don't own any of these magnificent characters. :(**

* * *

"Pull yourself together," she whispered as she furiously wiped her tears away. A voice crackled over the intercom.

"Who is it?" She presumed it was the glittery warlock although he sounded nothing like his usual, dramatic self. His voice sounded worn and resigned as if he'd... given up. _But he can't, not now._

She paused for a moment, wondering whether to answer truthfully. Somehow, she doubted they would welcome her that warmly. _No, it'll look suspicious and they can probably see me anyway_, she thought before quietly answering "Maureen." The line crackled and she nervously bit her nails whilst she listened for a response. Through the static, she was sure she could hear a gasp and then urgent whispers before the line went dead.

Silence.

Then the click of the door being automatically unlocked cut through the night air and she reached for the handle, surprised that they had let her in so easily.

She took a tentative step towards the door before she felt the icy, cold ridge of a knife kiss her throat. She gasped, wildly trying to swivel around to see her mystery attacker. _Should have suspected something like this though_... A hand clamped her body in its steel grip and a voice hissed in her ear, "after you," as she was roughly pushed towards the door.

_Let the fun begin_, she thought drily.

* * *

_"Use too much and it can drive you insane. After 4 or 5 doses, it usually kills you. And if it doesn't... They usually kill themselves. And that's with the nice fantasies."_

Having said that, wide scale panic ensued. Isabelle frantically left the sanctuary and the others followed. In silent agreement, they hurriedly made their way to the Hotel Dumort, a sense of dread lingering around them. They knew at the time that it was probably suicide as there was no way in hell they could ever fight off a whole clan of vampires. In the adrenaline rush it didn't seem to matter though, not when the blood was rushing through their veins, and they longed for the escape of a battle and to vent out their raging emotions.

Therefore when they arrived to find the abandoned hotel, well...actually abandoned.

Again in unspoken agreement, they made their way to Magnus' apartment. It seemed that in this time of need no words were required. Maybe they were all too swallowed up in their worry for Alec and possibly Simon. Maybe it was because they were once again united in a dire situation, thrust together into 'Team Good'.

_Situation_, Magnus thought, _exactly what I wanted to avoid_. _Look how well that worked out_. He remembered those stupid words he had uttered in the tunnel, _I'm tired of being your pet warlock._ How...trivial and insignificant. Had he really been that petty? To break up with Alec for him wanting to be together forever? Because being without the shadowhunter had made Magnus come to realise something. He realised just how unbearable life was without him. Alec had become such a big part of Magnus' life that when he wasn't there, Magnus just couldn't function. The shadowhunter had left a gaping hole - more of a chasm in all honesty - which Magnus would never be able to fill. He had unknowingly changed the warlock so irrevocably that Magnus could never revert back to his indifferent bachelor ways.

If he hadn't changed so much, he would have thought it ironic - how a person that dressed so dully could be so colourful at the same time. But Magnus had realised that life wasn't about looks or clothes or material possessions because, although his Alec was beautiful, he had none of the latter two in his worn out, frankly disgusting clothes. Yet Magnus could see now how Alec was full of colour and vitality, shining through to only the people he loved and trusted. And once that was gone...the rest of the world was colourless and dreary to Magnus in comparison. Magnus needed Alec. He needed him more than he ever thought he would. He needed Alec to see the joy and hope in life and because without Alec he was worried that the world would fade away around him, taking them both with it.

As the hours crawled by, turning into days, Magnus began to lose hope. They all did. They had no means to find the vampires and if they did they had no power to stop them. With no assistance from the clave, Team Good was reduced to a couple of shadowhunters, one of which was untrained, a depressed warlock and a handful of wolves from Luke's pack. In the end, it seemed that they weren't even fighting a losing battle. They were just plain lost.

The only one who remained active and hopeful was Jace. Everyone else was dejected and hopeless, half heatedly going on hunts to find the clan and absentmindedly rifling through ancient text books. No-one ate, everyone slept fitfully, as was evident in the morning by the dark purple bags blossoming under their eyes. And the situation was so heart breaking. Everyone ingnored it, but the sobs were thinly veiled by walls and pillows and no-one commented on the red eyes in the morning. They were all going through the same problems and so couldn't offer any comfort or support. Yet Jace was constantly moving, restlessly searching by getting up well before the sun came up and returning a little after midnight. Sometimes he stayed out all night even, filled with a burning energy. Magnus didn't even have the energy to be annoyed. He didn't really have the energy for anything.

So when the buzzer rang after three days, which in all honesty seemed more like three years, to say they were surprised would be an understatement.

Magnus, thinking it was a daring client, had answered it, putting none of the usual venom or dramatic flair into his "who is it?"

"Maureen."

At first he'd thought it was Jace playing some sick joke on him. The warlock wouldn't put it past him. Yet he realised this couldn't be true when Jace was behind him and it was a distinctly feminine voice.

Isabelle shot out of her chair, hissing in his ear, "let her in."

To which Magnus said something like "no way in hell". Let a psychotic, 13 year old, vampire into his apartment willingly? No thank you.

"Jace?..." she turned towards the blonde who was looking out the open window.

"Say no more," he replied, launching his body out of the window and into the night with cat like grace. Magnus could have sworn he saw a silver glint in his hand.

"Are you mad?" asked Magnus, slightly hysterically.

"Honey, we all are by now," she replied as she slammed the unlock button.

* * *

"You're a downright pitiful spy," commented Jace from Maureen's side.

The round table had been exchanged for a steel square one, giving off an austere, unforgiving environment. It just added to the tension and fear which were so thick it was almost a tangible presence. Magnus, Clary and Isabelle sat opposite Maureen, cold, calculating expressions on their faces, and Jace, who was sitting next to Maureen, had kept the pressure of the knife against her throat constant. It served as an insistent reminder that this was not a pleasant gathering and by no means could she leave. No, there was no going back now.

Glancing around the room, she saw that the walls were black, the curtains drawn and a single light shining feebly on her face. Whether to reflect the warlock's mood or increase the tension, she didn't know. Either way, it worked.

If Maureen were being entirely honest with herself, which she wasn't, she would have admitted that she was scared shitless by this situation. It was in times like this that her age became more apparent. After all, she was only 13 although she often forgot that herself because of the adult situations she found herself in. Just a few months ago she was wearing unicorn T-shirts and sleeping with a teddy bear at night, a fact she liked to forget. But although she liked to think that her irrational fears of the dark and spiders had disappeared since becoming a badass vampire, there were some things that made her quite frankly long for her mother and she felt weak and vulnerable. Maureen didn't like that feeling. And in moments like this Maureen would do what she did best:

Act.

"I'm not here to spy dumb ass. Unlike you, I wouldn't do something that blatantly stupid and obvious." Jace kept a blank expression but she was sure she felt the blade dig in with slightly added pressure.

Magnus sighed, "then why the hell are you here?" he asked resignedly.

Maureen bit her lip, a gesture that painfully reminded Magnus of Alec, and rested her hands on the table in front of her, drumming her scarlet fingers against the shiny surface. She had a confident smirk on her face but Magnus could see her eyes dart nervously around the room. She was clearly thinking about something and they all waited as the drumming increased intensity, echoing through the cavernous room which had been emptied of all other furniture.

_Click...click...click...click_, Magnus felt himself getting slightly irritated

_click...click, click,_ he dug his nails into his hands and tried to drown it out.

_click,click,click,click,click,click,click._ He was going to explode.

_Clickclickclickclickclickcli ckclickclickclickclickclick..._

"Stop!" Magnus screeched.

Maureen flinched almost imperceptibly, her eyes wide and everyone shot Magnus alarmed glances. _At least the damn drumming stopped_. "Just answer the damn question," Magnus growled, piercing Maureen with his poisonous, green glare.

Maureen licked her lips slowly, silently revelling in the fact that she had irritated the menacing warlock and met his gaze levelly. "Fine," she muttered into the oppressive silence. "I'm here because I have information, valuable information that can help you."

No reply.

"Information regarding the boy - Alec and his well-being."

Magnus' eyes widened, "what is it? What have you done to him? Is he alive?" he asked eagerly, leaning forward across the table. Maureen smiled at the wild, frantic expression dancing in his eyes. This was definitely the warlock's undoing, as she'd suspected. The warlock was clearly being driven out of his mind by love. It was a powerful weapon and it seemed it was finally on her side.

Isabelle shot Magnus a pleading look, whispering in his ear, "don't give her anything to use against us."

"For that information I require payment," Maureen practically purred at which Isabelle sighed exasperatedly.

Too late.

"What?" asked Clary, speaking up for the first time. She couldn't help but avert her gaze when it was met with slightly manic steely, grey eyes.

"You help me become head vampire," Maureen stated calmly. She was met with silence as everyone furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. What was the point in requesting something that you already had? Jace voiced this misunderstanding.

"But you already are..." he began.

"Of the world."

There was a stunned silence before Clary's whispered, "you're mad."

Maureen barked out a laugh, "tell me something I don't know," she answered as she inspected her nails indifferently.

"Is that even possible?" asked Jace. Maureen noted that the pressure of the knife had relaxed minutely and she smiled slightly.

"Anything is," Maureen replied. "But tell me warlock," she addressed Magnus, who met her eyes with a stoic expression, "what lengths will you go to to save your love?"

* * *

**So I was going to end it on "of the world" but then I realised that like most of my chapters have ended on a short, bold, cliffhanger ending statement and I don't want to get monotonous... Although this is kind of a cliffhanger... Damnit this is the same thing! The cliffhanger curse strikes again! Tell me guys, do you think it's monotonous?**

**Anyway, please review? Pretty please? And I'll give you a snippet in the AN at the end of the next chapter of what's to come...**


	19. Cat and Mouse

**Hey strangers. :) I got to 100 reviews in the last chapter and this is how I repay you! *tuts* All I can say is that I'm sorry, very sorry that this is late. :( I had no inspiration and then school started so...I had a lot on. :/ In fact, I was going to post an AN to say this but then I already had some of this written so I thought I'd post it. I'm not happy that it's dragging on with Maureen so much but at least it's something...**

**I would appreciate reviews to know what you guys think of the story and to find out if anyone is actually still interested in it... :/**

**I don't own any of the characters. Just the plot.**

**Dunno why, but this one has a quote. It kinda...fits. You'll see *evil laugh*. And maybe I just like Mary Shelley since she has the same last name as me so I like to pretend we're related. :) **

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"I beheld the wretch - the miserable monster whom I had created." ― Mary Shelley

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_"But tell me warlock...What lengths will you go to, to save your love?"_

Isabelle's heart had never been beating so fast. Everything depended on this moment. She was not being overdramatic. If Magnus agreed to Maureen's request...who knew what havoc she would wreak on the world? Having a mentally unstable 13 year old girl as head of every single vampire in the world could only result in chaos. And how would they achieve it anyway? Could it be done?

On the other hand, if Magnus didn't agree to the request she would be lost. They all would be. A world without Alec was just...inconceivable, to not have his rare bursts of laughter, his constant overprotectiveness, his condescending big brotherly tone that she always claimed she hated. Their family was already broken apart from Max. To have two members die in one year would crush them. There would be no Lightwoods, not to Isabelle.

This was probably the ultimate test of Magnus' love for Alec. This was earth shattering, world burning down material... Yet all she could do was watch silently as he made his decision.

And as Isabelle watched the intense showdown - stormy grey challenging moss green - she got the sinking feeling that Magnus was not going to comply to Maureen's request, that he'd given up. Maybe the price was just too high to pay. She didn't know if she should accept that this was the sensible thing to do or slap him senseless for not loving her brother enough. She guessed she was just glad that it wasn't her that was making the nightmarish decision since Isabelle was already conflicted enough.

"Anything."

It was whispered through the tense silence as Magnus bowed his head in defeat. It seemed to resound through the room - shocking them all into silence. It scared them all, that word. _Anything, anything, anything_. But none of them were scared as much as Magnus.

Isabelle wondered idly for a moment when Magnus decided that just patching Alec up and doing the odd little requests free of charge was not enough. _You couldn't have realised that sooner? In the tunnel perhaps? You couldn't have just forgiven him then and we wouldn't be in this mess?_ The bitter thoughts crept into Isabelle's mind and for a moment she felt resentful towards the warlock. If he hadn't have dumped Alec, would this have even happened in the first place? But Isabelle couldn't harbour these feelings towards Magnus. She knew herself that only losing something made you realise its true value and by then, it was too late. It was too late to tell Simon she loved him, too late for Magnus to give up his immortality. And Isabelle was starting to think that it may just be too late to save Alec. The hopelessness seeped like poison into her mind, polluting her thoughts, weakening the motivation behind her actions. After all, what was the point? If he was already gone, what was the point in trying to save him? She never revealed to anyone these doubts. No-one could know that the great Isabelle Lightwood was losing her touch, the fiery spirit and determination that she was notorious for. She would suffer in silence and shame.

"I will do anything for Alec," Magnus said, his voice hitching and shaking. At that point he didn't look like a noble, 800 year old, High Warlock. He looked like a scared little teenager, hopelessly in love and going into scary situations to save it. He looked out of his depth and no-one liked it, this vulnerability. But no-one could deny the power behind this statement.

_He'd burn the whole world down till he could dig you out of the ashes._

Magnus had always thought that dramatic romance stuff belonged to Jace and Clary.

He knew now he had been wrong.

"Tell me about Alec," he commanded, summoning up some strength and dignity from hidden depths. The warlock had felt so tired lately, so bone achingly exhausted. For the first time, he could feel every month and day of his 800 years and he longed for sleep. But then when he went to bed sleep evaded him, being the tease it was. For Magnus could not sleep without his shadowhunter, despite his fatigue. It was a vicious circle and he wanted so desperately for it to stop. Even if Alec would no longer be his little shadowhunter anymore.

_My little vampire._

Maureen's smile made a sickening feeling twist in all of their stomachs. Most of them wanted to slap that grin off the girl's little face. All except for Jace. He wanted to do much more than that.

"Not so fast warlock," she wagged her finger in such a patronising way, intended to make the warlock feel small and feeble. It had the intended effect. Magnus was slightly unnerved that someone had the power to do that to him by what seemed to be a small, insignificant movement. He didn't like it. He especially didn't like her predatory smile or the way that she lazily put her feet on the table like she now owned the place. _Pull yourself together Magnus. She's 13 for fuck's sake._ Maureen placed her chin on her hands, batting her eyes innocently.

"Swear it," she purred.

Magnus eyed her for a moment, wondering why she could possibly want a warlock to swear. Oaths had no power over warlocks, not like when shadowhunters when they swore on the angel. _Oh well,_ he thought, _her loss - my advantage_. Finally, he began, "I swear..."

She immediately cut him off. "Not you, silly," she giggled. "Him." They all swivelled around to see who she was pointing at. Jace.

The blonde furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Why me?" he asked.

Maureen rolled her eyes, as if she was being burdened with the task of explaining something extremely obvious to a group of children. "Swearing doesn't work on warlocks." She met Magnus' eyes, challenging him. "Surely you knew this Magnus?"

Magnus tried to resist the inexplicable urge to request he call her Bane or warlock. 'Magnus' just sounded disgustingly intimate. He supposed it was his name but most business clients called him Warlock Bane - never Magnus. In fact, only his friends and, of course, the damn shadowhunters called him Magnus. Maureen was neither. He supposed what it came down to though was that Alec called him Magnus. No nicknames - unless he was in a silly mood. But Magnus was enough. It was enough because he could hear the love and affection shining through the shadowhunter's voice when he said that name.

_Magnus_.

That one word conveyed a thousand different things to him when Alec said it. The old warlock had heard his name said millions of times, in thousands of different ways by countless people. But never had his name sounded so special, like a beautiful secret, shared between them, than when Alec said it.

He supposed it was petty but..."Call me warlock Bane. And do not worry, vampire, it may not be binding like the shadowhunter oath but I stick to my promises. I am a man of my word."

"I don't doubt that you are," Maureen smiled blandly. _Damn, the bitch is good_, Magnus thought unwillingly. "But I want guaranteed goods Warlock_ Bane_," she spat vehemently, Magnus almost flinched before Maureen smiled brightly, her voice suddenly losing its poison. "So I want blondie here to swear that he will do everything in his power to force Bane to make me head vampire of the world."

Jace nodded, a little confused at the logic of this. He met Magnus' eyes in a silent question mark. _Should I do it?_ And Magnus nodded almost imperceptibly.

"I swear on the angel to do everything in my power to force Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn to make Maureen Head Vampire of the world." Jace had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. The request was so ridiculous and it was probably more than likely that this "Head Vampire Of The World" position did not exist. That would mean that this whole oath was pointless since he couldn't force Magnus into doing something that wasn't real. However, "probably more than likely" did not reassure Jace. Because there was always that doubt...

He pushed it to the back of his mind when, seemingly satisfied, Maureen asked, "so, what do you want to know?"

Instead of immediately asking about Alec like they all expected, Magnus rubbed his hands together as his fingertips glowed an azure blue. Jace could have sworn that the lights dimmed dramatically so that an eerie blue glow lit up the warlock's face, making it appear otherwordly in the ethereal light.

"Before we begin..." sparks erupted from Magnus' fingers, forming a small , circular shaped pool in front of Maureen in the middle of the table. Magnus nodded towards Jace, hoping that he knew what he meant. Luckily, Jace did. He moved towards Maureen, roughly twisting her hand towards him so that she bore her wrist. She cried in protest as he flicked a blade, causing blood to bead on her porcelain white skin. Just as abruptly, he flicked the blood into the circle where it dissipated, turning the innocent blue to an angry red. The name Maureen floated to the surface in wicked black scrawl.

The vampire looked up at Magnus with confused eyes.

He answered to her unspoken question. "It's a truth circle. A lie detector of sorts. Say a lie and it'll turn red, say the truth and it'll turn green." He rolled his eyes at her as if this kind of thing was common knowledge which, she supposed, it was. Maureen had done the same action to the old warlock just a moment ago. She had felt so powerful, so in control. Now, she was reminded yet again of how little she knew of the down world, how inexperienced she was and got an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach. This was an unexpected twist and she didn't like the direction it was going in.

"What was the blood about?" she asked somewhat shakily, rubbing the wrist where the now almost non-existent scar was.

"That was purely for fun," Magnus answered somewhat sarcastically. "What do _you_ think? The circle now knows everything, your innermost thoughts and deepest, darkest secrets."

He grinned at her, his eyes now gleaming. "So don't even consider lying."

She realised with a start that the vulnerability and desperation of earlier had evaporated from his eyes which now had a dangerous look in them, a burning rage. She wondered if he had been acting, luring her into a false sense of security. He was a predator ready to strike. And she was his prey, cornered and captured in his trap.

"You have your reassurances darling and I have mine," he hissed. "Now talk."

Maureen gulped, she had thought she had the upper hand. Now, she wasn't so sure.

* * *

"So...what exactly _is_ he now?" Simon asked.

They both peered intently at the figure stirring restlessly underneath the crimson stained white sheet.

"You know what Simon?" Sebastian turned towards him, an unreadable expression in his black eyes. "I don't have a fucking clue anymore." And a small glimmer emerged in the surface of those indecipherable eyes which confused Simon.

An ice cold hand shot out of the sheets and clamped around Sebastian's neck.

And it was only then that Simon realised what the glimmer was: fear. Sebastian was scared. Scared of what they'd created. Scared of the unknown. Simon watched with detached interest as the ivory claws tightened their vice-like grip.

"Well, at least he's responding now," said Simon.

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**Since I made it to 100 reviews and I promised in the last chapter, here is a snippet (somewhere near the end of the story). Now let's make it to 200 by the next chapter...joke. :D As if I could ever pull that off. :) **

As red lightning rained down from the heavens and a tornado of black and scarlet surrounded them, howling in her ears, she couldn't help thinking:

_What have we done?_


	20. Author's Note

I always told myself I'd never be one of those authors who posts an AN. Guess I was wrong. But I know how disappointed I get when it's not a chapter so sorry guys. :/

Truth be told, I've had the suckiest day ever.

We were driving in the dark and someone crashed into the back of my mum's (brand new, might I add) car. Literally, we'd had it for all of half an hour. I was in the back and hit my head on the window (did I mention it's a tiny sports car with hardly _any_ safety stuff at all) and so probably have whiplash now. In fact, I really should be asleep since my neck and head are killing me but I need to rant to _someone _about it. You guys just skip to the end if you want. I think I'm still in a state of shock. Don't mind me...

Then I get home, look at my documents and, oh look, my iPad's erradiated all my documents and put them in the fucking iCloud which I have _no_ idea how to use and no access to because I don't know the bloody password. Good one Apple.

And then don't even get me started on how stressed I already was with so many exams in January. I've also been in New York (just before Sandy, my heart goes out to all of those affected by it) so, yeah, busy times.

Anyway, to cut my pity party short, I'm sorry for being such a crap updater. Someone thought the fic was being discontinued so I thought I should let you guys know about my sucky day and reassure you that it will be continued, when I pluck my documents back out of the evil rain cloud. I have no clue when the next chapter will be up but it will be, one day.

Sorry, again.

Blue eyed Fantasies


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